


Just Right Now

by FiccinDylan



Series: Life Because of It [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, BAMF Stiles, Body Worship, Bottom Derek, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Bottom!Stiles, Canon Convergence, Declarations Of Love, Dream Sequences, Enthusiastic Consent, Fix-It, Fluff, I'm going to add tags as I add chapters, Post Paige, Pre-Hale Fire, Rimming, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Sex Toys, Smut, Top Derek Hale, Top!Derek, Trippy, Wolfsbane as Weapon, Young Derek, but i was diplomatic is what i'm saying, but later she gets some pretty good closure, deaged!derek, don't mess with my man, i do shade her a couple times until then though, i don't like malia, in deaged form, it's medicinal, limited dorky knowledge of video games, post meeting Kate, scott and derek stop being polite and start getting real, skittles friendship, smack talk, so if you're her stan, sterek, unsanitary acts in front of breakfast foods, withholding of sanwiches, you probably won't be reading this anyway, young!sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:10:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the lacrosse field heartbreak, Scott and Stiles spend the day playing video games and trying to get Stiles through his sorrowful valley.</p>
<p>Then, Stiles gets a very interesting visitor...</p>
<p>aka </p>
<p>Stiles gonna get some lovin'!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. || Chpt. 1: The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JennyEllenWicked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyEllenWicked/gifts), [aljamo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aljamo/gifts).



> Thank you for stopping by!
> 
> If you haven't I really suggest reading [2 Cool + 2 B = 4Gotten]() and [Mi Primo, Miguel]() before launching into this. It references a lot of things in those two, though if you don't feel like it, you should be okay. This is canon convergent meaning this all happened in the missing week of the show (a reference made in 4x03). The end is just pure indulgence and a lovenote for all of you who had to slog through season 4.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Life _Because_ of It
> 
>  
> 
> Summary:  A canon convergent series based on Teen Wolf eps 401 and 402.  The finale will also include elements after the final battle at Temple Spanikopitalliomanapia.  Stiles meets Derek's younger form and finally understands the man who has always been a mystery to him.  The more he learns, the more he comes to realize he can't live without him.
> 
>  
> 
> [2Cool + 2B = 4Gotten](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1847944)
> 
> Stiles and Co take a deaged Derek Hale back to Beacon Hills.  On the ride back, Stiles wonders about why Derek Hale has always intrigued him.  And here he is.
> 
>  
> 
> [Mi Primo, Miguel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2084769) - 3 Chpts/ Complete
> 
> Now back in Beacon Hills, Stiles tries to get more information about Derek Hale, but may be driving him away in the process.  
> 
>  
> 
> [Just Right Now (WIP)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2533694/chapters/5632085) - 5 Chpts 
> 
> The "smuffy" finale.  Still canon convergent but with a lot of self indulgent smut and fluff and all around wish fulfillment.  I put you guys through a lot with the last two and this is my thank you for persevering!
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the lacrosse field heartbreak, Scott and Stiles spend the day playing video games and trying to get Stiles through his sorrowful valley.
> 
> Then, Stiles gets a very interesting visitor...
> 
> aka
> 
> Stiles gonna get some lovin'!

Just Right Now

Chpt. 1: The Beginning

"Scott run!" Stiles’ sweat sizzles as it trickles down his forehead.  Watching his best friend plunge deep into the woods, he stops briefly to consider his options. He should be used to this by now; he's been in this position many times before, but something about this present moment makes him feel uneasy. He’s off his game. The predator is right on his heels, just waiting for the opportunity to sink its razor sharp fangs into Stiles' delicate body.  He presses on and runs, feeling sluggish and wrought with fatigue. He sees Scott, standing there, looking perplexed about what his next move should be.

"FUCK!  Uhh… Stiles, lead him into the clearing so I can attack!" Stiles runs into the clearing knowing that it's a risky move that will only attract more beasties, but he trusts that his brother has a plan.

"Don't worry, Stiles! I have a plan!" Stiles nods confidently and runs in a circle while the predator and rest of the beasties narrow in for their prize.

"Alright buddy, whatever you have in mind, now would be a good time, Scott! Right fucking NOW, _Scott_!" Stiles cocks his gun ready to attack, though not wanting to scare off the enemy and ruin Scott's plan.

"Dude, don't worry! I'm right here!" In front of Stiles -just right behind the line of hungry, insatiable creatures closing in on him- Stiles sees Scott running through the clearing. He has something in his hand and launches it in their direction. "Stiles run!"

Stiles watches the weapon fly through the air and land at his feet. It's metal and rugged, with jagged edges and a timer giving him 3 seconds to-

"Scott! What the fuck?!" Stiles tries to activate his armor but it’s too late; jagged nails and shards of glass rip through him, gruesomely ending his life.  He throws down the controller with an exasperated sigh and looks at Scott, “You thought I could survive a dirty bomb?!”

Scott is laughing hard as he watches his points go up at all the monsters he’s killed.  He grabs Stiles' shoulder, clutching the sleeve of his plaid overshirt as he gasps for air.  

“Dude, it was for the greater good, okay? You know you wanted your character to be a martyr!”  Stiles shakes Scott off and pushed him over, shaking his head in disbelief.  

“If only people knew how cold blooded you really are, Scott.”  Scott -still giggling- narrows his eyes at the TV, waiting while Stiles activates a health pack to get back in the game. “True Alpha, my ass.”

Scott’s head jerks and he looks at Stiles, mouth agape, feigning hurt.

“Stiles!  A good alpha needs to know when to sacrifice themselves and when to sacrifice their best friend of 13 years.”  He shrugs nonchalantly and picks up the controller, pretending not to notice the livid yet playful sneer Stiles is giving him.

***

It was the Sunday after the Saturday morning when Stiles lost his heart.  It’d been torn to pieces and left scattered over the lacrosse field.  Scott helped him gather as much as they could find in the contradictorily bright and sunny morning.  They quietly volleyed a few balls before packing everything up and heading back to Stiles’ house where they’ve been ever since.  

“Haven’t I talked to you boys about playing nice and _not_ filleting each other with weapons of mass destruction?  Hmmm?  I’m disappointed in you, Scott.”  Stiles sticks his tongue out at Scott who slyly tries to flip him off without the Sheriff seeing.  John grins cautiously, watching his boys play around like nothing was wrong.  

Sheriff Stilinski knows something is going on with his son.  He’s always been a little bit wary since Stiles’... _inhabitation_.  He knows it happened, but he still can’t quite come to terms with the fact that a demon fox spirit (or whatever the hell it was) had set up shop inside of his son.  The after effects have cooled somewhat, but he knows there’s a certain darkness that will always be there.  This was different though.  Lately his son has been more withdrawn and preoccupied and when he came home last night he was absolutely bereft.  The Sheriff said very little, promising to always wait on Stiles to come to him when he was ready, but he still worried for the life and health of his only child.

“Hey kiddo. I’m getting ready to head out.” John gestures to his bags in the hall and ruffles Stiles’ hair as Scott sits alert, trying to apply some sort of casualness to the situation.  “How are you? Umm... look, I know something happened, and I trust you, but if you feel like you don’t have it under control I can cancel my trip.”  Stiles rubs his face in his hands before smiling weakly at his father.  He shakes his head.

“No dad, just a rough couple of nights, you know?”  Stiles flails a little bit, indicating just… _everything_ and his dad nods with a slight huff.  John crosses his arms looking carefully between the two boys.  

“Well Scott, I assume you’ll be here mostly, so please make sure he eats and takes his medicine, okay?”  Scott nods and the Sheriff picks up his suitcase.  “I’ll be back in 4 days.  You call if anything happens and I’ll be back before you can hang up the phone, you hear me?”  The boys agree and Stiles gets up to hug his dad.  He holds on just a little tighter than usual.

“Dad, people don’t hang up phones anymore.”  Stiles digs his fingers into his dad’s jacket, his knuckles going white.

“Hey, hey there.”  The Sheriff runs his hands over Stiles’ hair and envelopes him in.  He tries to reassure his boy without pushing, but it just serves to make him more worried.  They’ve been working on rebuilding their trust, so he’s trusting Stiles will reach out when he’s able.  Hopefully before it’s too late.  

“It’s just a conference kid. I’ll be back before you know it.  And if you need me to, I’ll come home; hell, I’ll stay home now if you want.”  Stiles chuckled a little, pulling back, smoothing the damage he’d done to his dad’s jacket (and maybe a little to his nerves).  

“What?  And miss the wonders of _Comparative Ballistics Analysis_?  Now what kind of Sheriff would you be without whatever the hell a class like that would teach?”  Sheriff Stilinski rolls his eyes, but smirks at his son, happy to get a little of the old sarcasm back before he goes.  

John gives Scott a small wave, along with a nonverbal signal that translates to _behave_.  Scott playfully salutes and the Sheriff leaves with Stiles shutting the door behind him.  The boys settle back on the couch.

“So what're we gonna do t'day, Brain?”  Scott asks in his disastrously terrible Cockney accent while resetting the game.  Stiles begins to outfit his character and shrugs.

“The same thing we do every fucking day, Scotty.  Try to save the world.”  Scotty smiles and nudges Stiles with his shoulder.

“Alright dude, let’s get to it.”  They start to play, falling easily into old habits; cursing, throwing things at each other for distraction, killing monsters.  Stiles laughs a lot for the first time in a while, allowing the game to act as a distraction from what’s really going on.  He knows it, and Scott knows it and they’re both okay.  All he needs is time, and he can get over being in love with Derek Hale.

‘ _That’s the worst part, isn’t it?’_  Stiles asks himself while bulldozing an army of chimeras with a freeze gun.  He’s thought about the answer quite a bit ever since Derek came back in his de-aged form.  He thinks about how the minute he saw Derek he knew instantly what every feeling he denied over the past two years meant.  He _needs_ Derek; every withheld promise, every dull ache that promised to fill in the holes of his heart.  If only Derek had a heart.

‘ _That’s not fair.  Just because he broke mine, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one.”_  Stiles repeats this mantra to himself frequently.  He knows innately that Derek has a heart, it’s just been broken and abused much like Stiles’.  Where they differ has to do with the function of the heart.  Derek’s heart was used to pump blood and give strength to his muscles as they carry him far away from danger and confrontation.

Stiles’ heart was made to love.  And through various forms of bad circumstance, Derek forgot that his heart could multitask and thus forgot how to love.  Without love, he could never be what Stiles needs, but that doesn't stop Stiles from wanting.  

It was easier, when this was just a crush on a damaged guy with stubble and impossible cheekbones.  But Stiles saw in the teenaged version of Derek, a life that was stalled, but not decimated.  And he knew Derek’s love had just gone stale.  He held on to the promise that it could be revived.  

As Stiles uses Scott’s body as a human shield, they hear a knock at the door.  Scott pushes Stiles while trying to break free from him in the game.

“What the fuck, Stiles? Let me go, I don’t have that much armor left!”  Stiles laughs.

“Dude, I don’t have any, that’s why I’m using you!”  Another sharp rap at the door finally garners the boys’ attention.

“Bro, did we order pizza?”  Stiles looks over at Scott who shrugs.  Scott pauses the game and walks hurriedly to the door where another urgent knock beckons.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming!  Stiles don’t you dare unpause that game, you bastard!”  Stiles blinked innocently, unpausing the game as soon as Scott rounds the corner.  

“Dude, I’m totally stealing all of your supplies!  Hurry the fuck up with the pizza!”  A beat passes and Stiles looks back towards the entryway confused.  He stands and goes to the window.

“Uhh... Stiles, it’s not... it’s not pizza.”  Stiles looks around outside where there are no cars other than his Jeep and Scott’s bike.  He grins a bit confused, and chuckles nervously while heading for the door. He slows upon seeing Scott's face.

“Bro, are you okay? You’re freaking me out a bit, who is-”  

Scott and Stiles have been best friends since before they could really form memories, and have stayed best friends through the experiences that formed memories they’d rather forget.  Stiles’ mother dying, Scott’s father leaving, the Nogitsune.  Scott knew Stiles better than he knew himself, but there were times when maybe he didn’t know himself as much as he thought he did.  No, that wasn’t true, it’s denial.  Because if Scott doesn’t think about Stiles being hopelessly in love with Derek Hale, then maybe it won’t be true.

It’s not that Scott doesn’t want Stiles to be happy.  It’s that he knows Derek is damaged and Stiles is damaged and theirs is the kind of damage that doesn’t erase the other, but feeds off of it.  Though he knows and loves Stiles, he also knows that there are surprisingly large areas of him that are in his blind spot.  Scott never feels like he’ll lose his best friend, but sometimes feels like maybe he would never know his pseudo brother as well as Stiles knew him.  He even thinks that in some ways Derek knows Stiles better, and that frightens him more than it should.

“Dude, it’s-”

Derek. Derek, who is standing in front of him, now.  He’s in Young Derek form, but something smells different about him than before; foreign, but also familiar.  Scott scents the air briefly trying to suss it out before realizing that Derek isn't even acknowledging his existence.  He’s already locked eyes with Stiles, and it’s too late.

“Derek?”  Stiles breathes, no louder than a faint whisper.  The younger version of Derek smiles timidly and nods.  He’s tall still, not as tall as his older counterpart, but still a couple of inches over Stiles.  He’s broad enough to fill out Derek’s steel blue Henley and a pair of loose basketball shorts.  He looks… perfect.  Derek finally considers Scott, but not for long, because before he knows it, he’s got an armful of Stiles.  They hold each other tightly, Stiles lifted slightly off the ground.  Derek lowers him gently and cups his face with his hands pressing their foreheads together.  They breathe into each other, exchanging air, getting high off of one another.  

After a moment, Stiles finally turns to Scott to say, well he’s not quite sure, but he doesn’t get the chance anyhow.  As soon as he turns his head Derek’s face is in Stiles’ neck, scenting him heavily, running his tongue along the juncture of his neck and shoulder.  Stiles moans at the tethers of pleasure threading him to Derek and hangs on for dear life, seeking purchase as he pulls off his plaid button-up to give his heart better access.  

Derek pulls back and looks at Stiles -his eyes flashing between blue and his human brown- and grabs his hand pulling him towards the stairs.  Stiles notices that Scott has moved to the living room, grabbed his jacket and is preparing to leave.  

They’re halfway up the stairs when Scott turns back from the door watching them.  Derek already has his shirt off and Stiles is behind him, also pulling his t-shirt over his head while trying not to tumble blindly.  He gets his Captain America logo T off and wraps his arms around Derek lightly kissing up his spine.  Derek laughs and reaches back, cuffing the back of Stiles’ neck with his hand, pulling Stiles behind him up the stairs.

“Stiles?”  Scott calls out.  His concern is warranted, but he knows his place is not here, and Stiles confirms this.

“Later, Scott. Okay?”  Scott doesn’t answer, just opens the door and leaves.  He continues to scent a bit outside.  He’s scared for Stiles, not necessarily for his physical well being, but he’s not sure if whatever this is can lead anywhere good.  He goes to Stiles’ Jeep, sitting there for a moment before turning on the radio and taking out his phone to text with Kira.

***

When Stiles was a kid he used to wish he could control his life like in that remote control movie.  Sections he would rewind to re-live or even just record over or fast forward.  He even wished he could slo-mo his first kiss, or the first time he saw a beautiful girl, or this, right here and now.  This moment where Derek’s back muscles flex -hardened from years of athletics- as he goes instinctively to Stiles’ room and stands in front of Stiles’ bed.  This moment where he turns around showing Stiles his still soft, yet developed chest with a sprinkling of dark black chest hair, and a surprisingly lush happy trail disappearing into basketball shorts.  

He wants desperately to pause the part where Derek’s arms are outstretched to him, beckoning Stiles’ skinny frame into them.  He would just pause and look at this picture of perfection before him offering… he didn’t know what, yet.  What he knows is that whatever the fuck it is, it’s his and he’s going to take it.  

Stiles runs into Derek’s arms, tumbling them both back on to the bed.  He gropes Derek around the middle and pauses briefly, thinking about their similar position on the lacrosse field.  The whole reason Derek showed up then was to fulfill a promise, and here he is, fulfilling another promise now.  He had to have known how much the incident broke Stiles’ heart, and now he was turning it around to turn it into something good.  Maybe that remote control movie wasn’t such bullshit after all?  

As Stiles' mind wanders, Derek is whispering sweetly into his ear.  He can only hear snippets, “ _you smell so good, Stiles_ ”, “ _I’m sorry about lacrosse, I never want to hurt you, I only want you to-”_  but they fill him up in a way that’s foreign, yet comfortable to him.  Stiles tries to delay his hearing, tries to draw out every word, every syllable, translate every possible meaning.  He wants to turn every second into an hour, to extend this present into forever.  He wants _now_ , just right now.  

He pushes up, resting on his elbows, looking deeply into Derek’s eyes.  They’re bright and hopeful, focused and attentive.  They pull Stiles in and before he knows it his lips brush against Derek’s.  A slight opening allows Stiles’ tongue to push in and just like that, they’re kissing.  Sweet, not controlled, but also not sloppy.  It’s lush and languid; unhurried and uncomplicated as they take time finding their truth in the other.    

“Derek.” Stiles doesn’t know why he feels the need to say anything, especially since the only thing that comes to his mind is,

“Oh God, Derek!”  Derek smiles against his mouth, now blushing and plump, kissing the side and along his jawline up to his ear.  He holds Stiles tight and close while nibbling at his lobe.  Stiles buries his nose into Derek’s neck, nipping and placing searing hot, open mouthed kisses there.  Derek’s taste is unreal, his texture is spongy like a baby rabbit, but his sweat is bitter and perfect against Stiles’ tongue; mingling the scent of outdoors and the sea and the woods and just everything that Stiles loves.  He nestles further in the crook of Derek’s neck, his heart beating at an unholy rate, pumping blood into the furthest recesses of his groin.  Derek’s essence seems to cascade over him with every inhalation, cocooning him in safety and then quickly overtaking him.  Soon Stiles is drowning in this man, completely asphyxiated and he wants to be no other place on earth.  Just here.  Just now.  Just right now.

“Stiles, please.”  Stiles nods into Derek’s neck, not sure of what he’s asking for, but knowing whatever it is Stiles will do it.

“Yes, okay.”  Derek hums a small laugh.

“Stiles, listen to me, are you listening?”  Stiles nods again, this time allowing Derek’s voice to envelop him as he shameless ruts his unfortunately still clothed erection against Derek’s thigh.  

“I’m listening, Derek.  I can’t stop my hips because... I don’t want to, but I’m listening.”  Derek kisses Stiles' cheeks and pulls his head back enough to put them forehead to forehead again.

“It’s okay Stiles; you can say it, okay?”  Stiles scrunches his brow, feigning confusion.  He knows what he wants Derek to mean, but doesn’t think that even in this dream like situation it could be true.  He leans down briefly, catching Derek’s lips in a kiss that Derek indulges briefly before pulling away and speaking again.  “I don’t think it’s right for me to say it back right now, and I know you get that, but you can say it.  You can trust me, I’ll keep you safe.”

Stiles runs a hand through Derek’s hair and smoothes his thumb over Derek’s forehead.  A tear he didn’t even realize was there drops from his cheek on to Derek’s, and Stiles laps it up quickly as Derek brings a hand up to wipe at Stiles’ cheekbone.  

“You can say it, Stiles.  Please, please say it.”  Stiles leans in and kisses Derek’s temple, tears dripping softly into the bedspread behind Derek’s head.  He knows what Derek wants, knows what he wants, but he’s scared, terrified even.  He’s been promised no rejection, that if he says this declaration he won’t be met with criticism or jocularity, and he trusts Derek to follow through with that, but he still doesn’t know if he can make that leap.

“How long?  How long do we have?”

“Three days.”

“Starting today?”  Stiles' mind naturally begins calculating the hours, the minutes, the seconds; but a jut of the hips from Derek, pressing their lengths together more solidly brings him out of his time capsuled torture.

“Starting now, noon to noon.  I know, Stiles, I know-”

“It’s not a lot of time.”

“I know.  But it can be enough.  It can be everything Stiles, it can be forever.  Say it.” Stiles looks into Derek’s eyes again, this time he can see the longing.  He realizes that him saying it isn’t just for him, but for Derek too.  That Derek needs this admission almost as badly as Stiles does.  He understands that these three days will be the only time he has to mean everything to Derek and have Derek mean everything to him at the exact same time.  That the pining and desire were mutual and for these three days they’d be in perfect sync, in perfect harmony.  That he could never change yesterday and after this time with Derek, he wouldn’t care about any tomorrows.  All he has is now.  Just right now.

“I love you, Derek.”  Derek smiles a bright smile that only belongs to Young Derek, but his eyes hold crinkles that belong to Derek of any age.  These are what Stiles covets and he kisses each one as Derek strokes hot hands up and down his back.

“Thank you, Stiles.  Thank you so much, now please.  Please.”  Stiles nods at Derek, confused.  

“What is it Derek?  I’ll give you anything.”  Derek begins to knead Stiles’ buttocks through his pants.

“You love me?”  Stiles smirks, a slight blush coming to his cheeks as Derek’s hand slips under his waistband and into his briefs, carding through the hair on Stiles’ cheeks.

“Fuck Derek, yeah, of course.  I love you.”  Derek withdraws one hand and runs a finger along Stiles’ bottom lip.  Stiles bites it gently before swirling his tongue around it causing Derek's dick to twitch between them.  Derek moves the hand back to Stiles’ ass and while using one hand to pull the cheek apart, he presses the spit slick digit directly to Stiles’ hole.  Stiles gasps as Derek lurches up and grabs Stiles’ bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes flashing blue with lustrous intensity.

“Make love to me.”

Last night Stiles cried in this bed. His body wracked with sobs as Scott consoled him. Malia had come to the window,  but Scott warned her away with domineering red alpha eyes. Last night he was broken, but today?

Stiles kisses Derek lightly on the lips and begins making his way down the body lain wanton beneath him; peppering his dusky colored skin with timid pecks and love bites. They’re not hesitant, there was no part of this that Stiles hadn't inadvertently planned while alone in his room or shower, but the reality of the situation loomed above them and he refused to let it settle. He continues down, nosing the surprisingly soft down of Derek's happy trail before standing up and slipping Derek’s basketball shorts and boxers off.

He doesn't look at Derek's body then, just tosses the clothes aside and pulls off his own sweatpants.  Derek toes off his shoes and socks while Stiles walks in socked feet to the side of the bed and sits rummaging through his night stand.  Derek rolls over and wraps an arm around Stiles’ waist, lightly kissing his lower back, suckling the skin there, causing light bruises, and tonguing the dimples just above his ass.  

Stiles can feel the warmth of Derek’s mouth on the mound of his ass and he smiles while grasping the base of his dick tightly, holding off on stroking it while he finds a bottle of lube and tosses it on the bed.  He aligns himself on his side next to Derek, his head propped up by his hand on his elbow as Derek’s hand moves freely around him, gently tickling his spine.  He moonwalks his fingers down Derek’s chest and finally just takes him in.  He’s surprisingly not nervous or scared.  Just curious and grateful.  

“Stiles.”  Derek is watching him, never taking his gaze away from his face, examining every part of it.  From his upturned nose, to the sprinkling of moles outlining his jaw.  His sparse afternoon shadow (from having not bothered to shave the last few days) and his almond shaped whiskey colored eyes.  Derek takes it all in, cataloging every feature.  Stiles does the same, but works his way down the thick column of Derek’s neck to the rigid perfection of identical collar bones jutting out of deliciously taut skin.  Stiles lightly runs his tongue along Derek’s right collarbone and nips at the fleshy underside of Derek’s jaw.  Derek chuckles as he runs his hand loosely over his erection.  

Stiles grabs Derek’s hand and kisses it before placing it over his own heart allowing Derek to feel the rapid beat as it begins to escalate.  His arousal only increases while he caresses Derek’s chest, ghosting his fingertips over burgeoning pecs and pert nipples.  He drags his hand, slowly down Derek’s body, remarking how smooth he is and how perfect he feels in Stiles’ hands.  He tangles his hand in the thatch of hair that lies at the bottom of Derek’s torso and watches Derek briefly as his head falls back and his mouth creates a small ‘O’.  Stiles wanted to watch Derek’s face while he played with his cock, but he needs to see.  He needs to see his hand in action and know that this is 100% real.  

Slowly, he wraps his fist around Derek’s cock, squeezing before firmly stroking upward, and stopping just before he gets to the top.  He lets the soft, velvety foreskin glide between his fingers, exposing only the tip crowning from his hand.  Derek lets out a soft moan into Stiles’ neck; inhaling him, shuddering as he wraps his arms around Stiles and leaves claiming marks along his jaw.  He whimpers softly into Stiles’ shoulder.

“Shh... it’s okay Derek.  I love you, I’m going to take care of you.”  Stiles squeezes Derek’s dick again causing a droplet of precum to bubble at the tip.  His mouth waters as he lowers down, approaching slowly, allowing his vision to tunnel only to Derek’s cock and the wetness that awaits him.  He’s so close he could probably see his reflection in the orb of shiny goo.  He laps at the purpling tip before enveloping the head into his mouth and gently sucking more liquid onto his tongue.

He tries to find words to describe the taste.  There’s a sour quality that he was prepared for, but behind it was something citrus, something sweet.  Not like lemon, but a savory orange mixed with grass.  It was musky and wet and bitter and wonderful and everything Stiles envisioned as he presses Derek further into his mouth.  He breathes in deeply through his nose and remembers a trick he read online.  He holds his thumb to his palm with his forefinger and sucks Derek in, not stopping until his lips reach Derek’s bush.  

“Oh god, Stiles!  Oh my- wait, I wanna… oh _god_!”

And like that, all control is gone.  All reserve is replaced with realization that they're here now. Derek belongs to Stiles and Stiles to Derek; his number was being called and now was the time to step forward.  

Stiles’ head bounces confidently on Derek's cock while Derek's hands scramble through Stiles’ hair, tugging gently while unfettered praises slip from his mouth.

“Fuck Stiles, you're so beautiful, this is already so much more than I expected!  I can't believe you're giving me this. I need you, I need you to-”

Stiles slows his oral ministrations and quickly changes positions straddling Derek's chest while bracing his thighs on either side of Derek's head.  He returns his mouth to Derek's cock, using his hands to run up and down Derek's legs, tickling the light hair with his nails. While he's considering Derek's balls, he ruts mindlessly into the hollow of Derek's chest, his precum oozing between them.

All the while Derek is running his heavy hands up and down Stiles’ thighs, stopping only to knead the buttermilk colored globes of his ass.  From this position he’s staring directly into the fount of Stiles’ arousal; his warmth emanating from him like crashing waves assaulting the rocky beach of Derek’s senses.  

Derek surges forward and buries his face into Stiles’ heat, licking his entrance and teasing his hole with the tip of his tongue.  Stiles grips Derek’s dick by the base roughly and cries out as Derek’s lavishing becomes frantic and harried.  Stiles can feel himself unravel as Derek’s tongue finally gains entry, sweeping around inside.  He’s not fucking him with his tongue, just searching, like at a buffet, taking in a bit of everything.  Derek then places a wet, smacking kiss to Stiles’ hole while putting his head back and using one hand to feel around the bed for where the lube might have gone.  

Stiles whines a bit, arching in the direction of missed penetration, but quickly recovers and finds the lube tossing it to Derek.  Derek pours a bit out, warming it in his fingers before sliding his pointer up and down Stiles’ perineum.  Stiles bucks slightly, letting more moans slip as he gives into the twinges of pleasure currently wracking his body.  Not wanting to tease, Derek slips his finger smoothly into Stiles’ hole, getting it to the 2nd knuckle before beginning to press in another.  

Stiles knows Derek is going to fuck him.  He knows this isn’t a “ _start small and build up” ty_ pe of situation, nor is it a “ _let’s get you to come to take some of the edge off” m_ oment.  This is preparation for fucking.  This is 2, now 3 - _fuck_ \- fingers in him, preparing his asshole for Derek’s cock, which was just in his mouth.  This is Derek’s fingers, searching and locating Stiles’ prostate, massaging it in a way that causes his eyes to roll into the back of his head and sweat to drip on to Derek's belly.  This is his thoughts divining ropes of pleasure sparking their way from the top of his spine to the pads of his feet.  Every cognition turning into one that wonders- no, not wonder, you only wonder if you’re not sure- _anticipates_ the thick length of Derek’s engorged phallus, hitting and dragging across that same spot of ecstasy in a matter of moments.  This situation is real and it is happening and Stiles could cry right now if he wanted and he’d be well within his right.  

“Stiles, are you ready?”  Stiles comes back just long enough to nod and roll off of his beloved.  Derek sits up, cupping his perfect lover's face between his hands.  He looks at Stiles’ spaced out, yet somehow still fixated expression.  He smiles and licks the tip of Stiles’ nose before standing up and walking towards the front of the bed while Stiles scoots down towards him.  Derek looks him in the eye, communicating something Stiles could never put words to, but understands completely.  Stiles stands briefly placing his lips lightly to Derek’s mouth before turning around, raising to his knees and placing his head on his arms beneath him.  

Stiles steels himself as he feels the warmth of Derek’s grip on his hips.  A moment passes and when he looks back he sees Derek standing mesmerized by Stiles’ presentation,  the tip of his penis at Stiles’ entrance.  

“Derek, it’s okay.  I love you.  It’s okay.”  Derek’s head snaps up as though he were watching an exhibit and not something interactive.  He nods, smiling sheepishly before leaning forward, breaching Stiles and slipping in just the slightly mushroomed head.  Stiles gasps and cants his hips back almost instinctively, inviting a bit more of Derek’s cock inside.  

The pressure is too much for Derek who trips over nothing and finds himself fully seated in Stiles’ ass in one fell swoop.  The breath is knocked out of both of them as they lay -Stiles against the bed and Derek against Stiles’ back- panting heavily towards their encroaching orgasms.  Derek kisses the nape of Stiles’ neck and grasps him tightly around the middle before pistoning his hips in and out of Stiles in an almost brutal fashion.  There’s pain, but no discomfort and Stiles can take it because he understands this position.  He understands Derek’s need to encase him, to protect him.  He understands that with every thrust Derek is filling in an empty socket that flows renewed energy through Stiles’ body and mind.  He gets that when Derek comes, he’ll be finally giving Stiles everything he’s always asked for.  He’ll give him his fear, his anger and insecurity.  He’ll release all of his preternatural bullshit and let Stiles hold it for the next 72 hours.

“Oh god, Stiles!  I’m coming, I’m com-”  Derek comes with a shout as he empties into Stiles, clutching him tighter in an almost crushing embrace.  Stiles swears he can feel the searing ropes of cum marking him inside as Derek rides him through his orgasm.  The swarthy weight of the man barreling down on him, mixed with the gravity of the gift he’s being given becomes too much as Stiles comes with a shout, untouched onto the comforter of his bed.  They both collapse and Stiles chuckles a bit, wriggling his ass at Derek’s now softened cock still lodged inside.

“Derek.” he says, his voice ramshackled with lust.  

“Stiles.” Derek answers as he kisses up and down Stiles back, suckling at the skin just above his spine, attempting to darken a mark into the sensitive skin.  

“Let me up so I can get something to clean us up.”  Stiles says, hating to break the mood, but wanting to get off of the wet spot. Derek kisses his cheek and gets up wobbly, being sure to remove himself gently from Stiles. He pays special attention to Stiles pink, swollen hole, smirking proudly at his work.  He holds Stiles in place gently while lightly rubbing his thumb around the rim, eliciting sweet gasps and whining from Stiles.

“No, it’s okay, I got it.”  Derek goes naturally into Stiles’ bathroom and brings back a warm, damp cloth.  He rolls Stiles off of the wet spot and uses the towel to wipe down Stiles’ stomach and between his thighs where the cum starts to drip out.  Stiles runs his finger through the mess and licks it into his mouth, his eyes never leaving Derek's whose eyes go wide with craving.  He gives a sly grin before parting Stiles' thighs and unabashedly lapping over his hole, moving up and kissing Stiles deeply, sharing their mingled flavor between them.  

This act of forced intimacy acts as a promise to the other that they’re in this together and are on the exact same page with how they want this to go. They laugh and touch each other, kissing and rolling around until they’re too exhausted to move.  Then they tangle their aching limbs around one another -Stiles head resting lightly on Derek’s chest, Derek’s arm hooked under Stiles’ knee- and they drift peacefully to sleep.

Stiles wakes up first and watches as Derek snores lightly, having a dream about chasing something.  He smiles and runs his hands through Derek’s hair, trying desperately not to make plans or facilitate what will happen next.  Yes, he knows he only has 3 days; hell, less than that now.  But he also knows that if he tries to control these days, they will only slip out of his hold.  There’s not time enough to plan, so he won’t.  He’ll just simply love and appreciate every moment he can, knowing that will be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up before 2pm EST 11/4


	2. || Chpt. 2: The Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Three days.”
> 
> “It’s not a lot of time.”
> 
> “I know. But it can be enough. It can be everything Stiles, it can be forever."

Chpt. 2: The Middle

 

5:00 pm

They’re kissing in one of the subsequent aftermaths; cum sticky between them, breath labored and heavy. The day was long and good to them.  Derek spent half an hour laving Stiles’ nipples until he was crying from sensitivity.  Stiles valiantly tried to give Derek a hickey on his Adonis belt before giving up and sucking on his balls until he came weakly, spilling mostly into Stiles’ hair.  Now, Stiles has his arms around Derek’s neck while Derek’s tongue is tracing invisible lines from mole to mole on Stiles’ face.  He stops and kisses the tip of Stiles’ nose.

“Tell me your real name?”  He asks as Stiles searches deep into his eyes.  The warm welcome of the younger Derek’s chocolate orbs are there, but there’s a storm brewing.  He wonders _when_ this Derek is.  What’s happened to him since he’s been gone?  Stiles can see the swell forming, even in this peaceful moment.  

“No.”  Derek isn’t shocked or deterred.  He simply smiles and nods.

“Okay.  When you’re ready?”  

“Maybe.”

“Okay.”  A comfortable moment passes, and then Stiles speaks.

“Should we shower?”

“Yeah, I wanna blow you.”  Stiles breaks into a wide grin.

“Yeah.”  He blushes slightly as Derek grabs his hand and pulls him from the bed.

They head to the shower and get in, idly adjusting the temperature.  Both like it scalding hot and Derek smirks at how red Stiles gets under the spray.  

They soap each other up and rinse each other off, gliding their hands across the soapy, hot flesh of the other.  Derek shampoos Stiles' hair before running the remaining shampoo through the crack of Stiles' ass, sudsing up the hair there and around his balls.  He sinks to his knees and massages Stiles’ thighs, calves and even his ankles before looking up into his warm bourbon orbs.  They’ve given way to mostly dilated pupils, hungry with fervor.  

“What do you see?”  Derek asks; suddenly shy, “when you look at me like that?  What do you see?”

“You.  I see you.”  Stiles sputters out.  Derek says nothing, but holds eye contact with Stiles as he laps his cock into the cradle of his tongue.  He wraps his lips around it and sucks gently, watching Stiles’ reaction.  Stiles gasps and moans, bracing himself as best he can on the shower wall.  He won’t look away, knowing that Derek needs this.  Derek takes the length of Stiles inside, hollowing his cheeks as he withdraws to the tip and pushes in again.  Stiles noises are frequent now, his voice is rough and his moans are low.  

“Derek… _yes_.”  He says as they continue to gaze into each other’s souls, trying desperately to find themselves inside.  Derek pulls off and jerks Stiles with his fist before lapping one of Stiles’ balls into his mouth.

“Shit!   _Fuck_ Derek!”  Derek chuckles a bit with Stiles still tucked into his cheek and the vibration hits Stiles’ taint, finally causing him to throw his head back and break the line of sight between the two.  Derek takes this opportunity to nest into Stiles’ pubes, sucking on both balls at the same time, rolling them in his mouth like a pair of dice.

“I’m gonna come, D. I’m gonna-”  Derek pulls back and puts Stiles’ cock back in his mouth, swallowing until the tip hits the back of his throat and his nose is nestled deep in Stiles’ groin.  Derek reaches a finger between Stiles’ cheeks, tapping twice on his puckering hole before Stiles’ body collapses over him, giving into orgasm.  His cum hits the back of Derek’s throat and he swallows it all while supporting most of the weight of the other man over him.  

Stiles grips Derek tightly by his shoulders, nails digging in as he pulls him up and slams their mouths together.  Derek buries his face in Stiles’ neck as Stiles mouths sloppily at Derek’s shoulder.  They breathe in time as the water from the shower cascades over them.

“What do I look like?”  Derek asks, running his hands over Stiles’ shoulders.  Stiles massages Derek’s lower back and noses his collarbone before giving it a light kiss.

“What?”

“You said, you see me.  What do I look like to you?  Because I don’t look like him, not yet.  But I know when you say you see me, you mean him too.  Both of us, but what do we look like?  To you?”  Stiles turns off the faucet and drapes himself over Derek’s back, hooking his chin on his shoulder. His lips tickle Derek’s ear as he presses a light kiss to his temple.

“I guess I have 3 days to show you.”

 

7:45 pm

The boys sit on the couch eating Chinese food.  Stiles steals a piece of Derek’s General Tso’s while Derek scents his neck.  Derek swipes an eggroll while Stiles kisses him.  

“Say it.”  

“I love you, Derek.”  Derek dips his finger into the sweet ‘n’ sour sauce, touching the tip of Stiles’ nose.  Stiles goes cross-eyed causing Derek to laugh and finally kiss it off.

“I know you do, you know?  I believe you 100%.”  Derek looks away, thoughtful as he forgoes his chopsticks and picks up a chunk of chicken, considering it before shoving it in his mouth.  He goes to shove in a piece of crab rangoon, but Stiles stops his hand.

“But?”  Stiles watches him, not pushing, just waiting for Derek to respond.  Derek nods, shrugs and nods again.

“Yeah, _but_.”  He’s solemn; Stiles can feel the apprehension rolling off of Derek in waves.  He runs his fingers through Derek’s hair and grazes his knuckles against his chin.

“What is it, D?  You know you can tell me anything.  It’s all about you.  I love you, okay?” Derek sits back against the couch and sighs, raising his arm for Stiles to burrow in.  Stiles leans in against Derek, stealing a piece of chicken from his plate.

“I’d like to know why.  I’d say you don’t really know me, but you do.  Sometimes it seems studied -like with the yearbooks- but sometimes it seems almost inherent.”

“It’s both.”

“Yeah?”  Derek’s wide eyes make Stiles’ heart melt.  He sits up slightly, resting his cheek on Derek’s bicep so he can look into his eyes.

“Yeah.  Derek, I lied to you and you forgave me.  I hurt you and you hugged me.  I was a mess and you let me in your arms; pressing and smoothing out all of my wrinkles.  It’s not that the older version of you wouldn’t do that, it’s that… well, I used to think he didn’t know how -but after meeting you- I can see he’s just forgotten.  And if something is forgotten, it can be remembered, or at least re-taught, _relearned_.  Because you exist, and because you’re him, I know I can teach him to remember how to love again.  I love you because just by being you, you’ve given me that hope.”  

Derek kisses Stiles softly on the forehead, wrapping both arms around him, holding him close.  Stiles runs his hands over Derek’s chest.  He can feel his heartbeat return to normal as the tension bleeds from his frame.

“I’m glad I could give that to you, Stiles.  But do you think he’ll be able to do it?”  Stiles shrugs.

“I believe in him, and you’ve made that possible.”

“Damn, thank you Stiles.  Thank you for trying to save me, but shit, I wish there was a way I wouldn’t end up like that at all.  I mean, maybe I can change, you know, maybe-” Stiles puts his hand over Derek’s mouth and shakes his head.

“No.  He needs to… you need to-.  If you try to change, you won’t be you anymore.  I love _you_.  You can’t change the past, but I promise you, if you let me, I’ll change your future.”  Derek smiles under Stiles hand.  Stiles removes it and strokes his cheek.

“You know you already have, don’t you?”  Stiles grins and kisses his heart.

“Yeah.”

 

9:08 pm

Derek walks into the bedroom and sees Stiles sitting in his office chair looking something up on his computer. Stiles throws him a wink while finishing and Derek sits on the edge of the bed gently stroking himself to hardness.

Their eyes meet and Stiles' heart soars. He exhales and walks over to the bed, standing in between Derek's legs. Derek smiles up at him beautifully as he reaches forward and runs his hand the length of Stiles' cock.  Stiles grabs a handful of Derek’s hair, pulling his head back before placing his hand possessively around Derek’s neck.  Stiles’ breathing becomes heavier as he thumbs the light cleft of Derek’s chin.

"Derek?" Derek lifts what can be described as the beginnings of his trademark eyebrows at Stiles who smoothes them with his thumb and leans forward, bringing their faces closer together.

"Derek." Derek looks at Stiles briefly before closing his eyes and nosing Stiles' jaw, planting dry kisses across it.  He takes Stiles' bottom lip in his mouth and bites it hard. Stiles can feel it all the way to his cock which is still being stroked at painstakingly slow speed.

" _Deeeeeeerek_." Derek worries Stiles' lip in his mouth.

"Hmm?" is all he can manage to get out. Stiles rubs his forehead against Derek's and grips his arms to find balance.

"I'm going to fuck you." Both boys gasp despite already knowing this end game. Derek kisses Stiles hungrily; sloppy and eager, before lying back on the bed and drawing his knees into his chest. Stiles reaches for the lube beside him, pausing for a second to rub his hand down Derek’s body, dragging down the column of his neck, ghosting over his nipple and running down between his legs before circling up his thigh and holding Derek firmly behind his knee.  He flips the cap on the lube and drips a couple of drops on his own erect penis, wincing a bit at the coolness.  Derek laughs but hisses as Stiles raises his eyebrow and squeezes some directly onto Derek’s anus.

Stiles winks, caps the lube and tosses it to the side before quickly reaching down to warm the lube against Derek’s body.  He’s rubbing a circle around Derek’s rim, lightly breaching the ring with the pad of his thumb.  He watches Derek begin to fall apart in his arms; he’s writhing with want but allowing Stiles to set the pace between them.  

Stiles slips his thumb inside of Derek, pushing it all the way in before twisting it.  Derek clenches down on his thumb causing Stiles to think about the hot pressure that will soon envelope his cock.  His breath becomes stuttered as he disciplines his body into patience, waiting a bit for Derek to get used to the intrusion.  He knows they’re on borrowed time, but he won’t rush this.  Earlier in the day Stiles took from Derek.  Took his pain, his fear, his regret.  Now it was time for Stiles to give to Derek, but he had to make sure Derek was ready to receive.

Stiles replaces his thumb with his finger quickly and starts to ease a second one next to the first.  Derek groans heavily, gasping at Stiles’ fingers, encouraging Stiles with every movement.

“Stiles please, more, please. I can take it, Stiles.  I want you to fuck me, please. Give me more, Stiles.  Give me everything.  Your everything.  I want it all.”  Stiles leans over to kiss the words as they fall directly from Derek’s mouth.  As he leans, he presses in a third finger, scissoring them to stretch Derek out all the more.

“Stiles!  Oh my god, please, I’m ready, please Stiles!”  Derek fucks himself on Stiles’ fingers, chasing the pangs of pleasure that rip through him, desperate for more.  Stiles pulls away, kissing the whimpers from Derek’s lips.  He strokes the lube on his cock and lines up with Derek’s entrance.  Positioning the tip, he pauses.

“Derek, I’m going to go into you slowly, as slowly as I can, okay? And when you’re ready I’m going to give it to you, I’m going to give you everything, okay?”  Derek nods and moans loudly as Stiles presses his way inside.  He goes as slowly as he can, trying not to succumb to the tight wet heat surrounding him.   He glides, never stopping, but moving at a snail’s pace until he bottoms out inside of Derek.  He stays there, allowing Derek to adjust.  Sweat drips down his forehead as he lays perfectly still while Derek writhes and flails beneath him.  Tears spring from his eyes as he shakes his head, digging blunt nails into Stiles’ lower back.

“It’s so much Stiles!  Fuck!  I want to, but I don’t know if- I can’t- I can-” Stiles releases one of Derek’s knees and wipes Derek’s hair from where it’s on his forehead.  He shushes him sweetly, running his lips over Derek’s cheek.

“Shh... Derek.  You’re strong, you can do this.  It’s okay, I love you and I’m here.  Just tell me when you’re ready and I’ll take care of you.  I’ll give you everything Derek.  Everything.”  A moment passes, neither of them knows how long, but it seems to be enough. Derek anxiety dissipates and he nods with a newfound peacefulness in his expression.

“Stiles.  I’m ready.”  Stiles pulls out halfway before crashing into Derek, hitting his pleasure center and causing his entire body to shudder.  He matches the move and each time Derek moans and gasps, accepting Stiles’ promise to care for him.  

“You see… _unggh_ , you see, Derek?”  Stiles stutters out as he quickens his pace into his love.  He thrusts with so much intensity it pushes Derek further up the bed, causing Stiles’ headboard to bang into the wall.  “I told you.  I told you, you could take it and that I would give it to you.  I’ll give it all to you.”

And he does.  Stiles gives him everything.  With every thrust he fills in a part of Derek that is missing or forgotten.  Summer picnics and hiking trips with his dad and sisters.  Overnights at a friend’s house and starting shitty garage bands that you abandon after a few weeks.  Arguing with Laura because it’s her weekend for the car, but you have a date.  First dates, first love.  Birthday parties and backyard barbecues.  Boy Scout meetings celebrating the perfect knot.  High School parties, spiked punch.  Seven minutes in heaven and spinning the bottle and falling in like with someone.  He gives Derek the first snowfall of the season and the crinkling of fall leaves on a crisp October day.  The first time you stand on your surfboard without falling in and the first bite of a tomato you grew yourself.  His first meaningless argument with a lover and the first time they make up. He gives him the American dream and throws a part of himself in for good measure.  Ice cream Sundays with his mom, kissed scratches and batman band-aids.  Fishing trips with dad and burning in the sun. Stiles gives him life without the damper of tragedy, or perhaps life in spite of it.  Or best of all?  Life _because_ of it.  

“I’m gonna come Derek!  Come with me.”  Stiles sets a heady rhythm as Derek reaches a hand between them to jack himself off.  Derek bites Stiles’ neck, muffling his keens as he comes hot on to his stomach.  Stiles pours out his love as Derek wraps his legs around Stiles' waist and they stay there, holding each other through the veracity of their release.  Derek can barely breathe, but he feels nearly complete.  He just needs one thing.  

“Say it, Stiles.  Please.”  Stiles’ tears stream down his face and are lapped onto Derek’s tongue.

“I love you, Derek. I love you so fucking much.”

 

10:52 pm

Stiles stretches as he moves across the room to the window. Derek watches him and hums contentedly as Stiles’ body is bathed in the moonlight. It illuminates his pale skin, glancing across the peaks of his nipple, the jut of his hips, and the bend of his semi-hard penis.  A thrill pulses through Derek as he commits the scene to memory.

"You're perfect." Stiles gives Derek a small grin and puts down a line of mountain ash at the sill before closing the curtains and heading back towards the bed. He sits on the edge and waits while Derek scootches beside him before pulling him into his lap.  He wraps an arm around Derek's waist and nuzzles into Derek's neck. Derek sighs, folding himself around Stiles and pressing soft, seeking lips to any part of the man he can reach.

They stay like that, softly kissing, whispering sweet nothings and stroking each other lightly.

 

1:00 am

Stiles opens his eyes, blinking to adjust to the darkness of the room.  He can still see the stars through a crack in the curtain, but is more mesmerized by the way the man beside him outshines them all.  

He turns over and looks at Derek holding Stiles’ Superman pillow in his lap.  He’s using a small reading light to look at the picture Stiles has of him inside the pillowcase.  Derek looks at Stiles and holds the picture next to his face, grinning.  Stiles blushes slightly, but composes himself and reaches over Derek to pull his phone from the nightstand.  He moves the pillow and interlocks their legs so he can cuddle as close to his curious counterpart as possible.  Derek wraps his arms around Stiles and kisses his cheek sweetly as Stiles pulls up the older Derek on his phone and holds the photo of the younger Derek beside it.  Derek lays his head on Stiles’ shoulder, seeking comfort.

“Wow. It’s just... we look so different, you know?  The same, but different.”  Derek says wistfully while Stiles nuzzles his hair.

“Yeah.”

“And you still love me?  Still love him?  Even though we’re not… do you love me more than him?  Him, more than me?”  Stiles shakes his head.

“No. I don’t see you as different really, just extensions of the same.  You both have the same heart, that’s what I love.  That’s what I’ll always love.  It’s just that you _now_ , you’re kinda what I need.  And Derek… you, _later_.  This Derek.  This is what I want, but you can’t have one without the other.  It’s an evolution. Your roads lead to him; he comes from you. ” Stiles rubs Derek’s back as Derek wipes a tear from the phone screen.

“God Stiles, I don’t deserve… _he_ doesn’t deserve-” He can’t finish because Stiles has his face cupped between both hands.  He kisses Derek on the lips and pulls back just enough so their noses are touching.

“I love you, Derek Hale.  All of you. Inside and out.  The only thing you can do about it is accept it.”  Stiles sits back and drapes his arms over Derek’s shoulders. Derek buries his face into Stiles’ chest, running his hands up and down his back.

“I can accept it, but I don’t know if he can.”  He turns the phone to face Stiles showing a dark and brooding older man who seems to glare at them from the screen.  Derek doesn’t realize that Stiles can always see past that glare.  He takes the phone and the picture and places them in his nightstand.  He turns back to Derek, holding his hands, his thumb gentling over Derek’s wrist.

“Let me worry about him, okay?  You don’t worry about anything.  You just know that-”

“Say it aga-”

“I love you!”  Derek beams.

“Say it while I rim you until you come?”

“Yes.”

“The whole time, don't stop?”

“It'll be ingrained into your subconscious for all time.”

“Damn, come here Stiles.”

“I love you.”

“You're everything.”

“I love you.”

“So fucking perfect for me.”

“Fuck me, please.”

“Everything, yeah. Say it.”

“I love you.”

“You love me.”

“Yeah.”

Derek rims Stiles until he’s crying out, begging Derek to fuck him.  Derek does, with Stiles’ ankles over his shoulders, bent in half as Derek thrusts into him slowly but surely.  Derek is holding Stiles’ wrists above his head and after he comes, he drops down to suck Stiles off until he’s spilling into Derek’s mouth.  They get under the covers and taste and tickle each other until they doze off.

 

7:20 am

Derek wakes up to find pillows stuffed between his arms and legs.  He can smell the alluring scent of breakfast meats, so he knows Stiles is downstairs making them food. He inhales Stiles' comforting smell from the pillow before stretching and sitting up, reveling in the aches from the day before.  He takes in the room.  Normal things abound; chess pieces, dusty, but well-worn books. There are pictures of Stiles and Scott on the lacrosse team, and of Sheriff and Stiles at a Dodgers/Mets game, gleefully sticking out in their orange and blue.

Derek wanders to the window sill and considers the line of mountain ash with a smirk before turning away and continuing his tour. He goes to the dresser and opens every drawer, sniffing inside, running his fingers along Stiles' boxers and undershirts. In a drawer of socks he sees a small photo sticking out. A young woman who looks just like Stiles is holding what looks to be a 5 year old Stiles in her lap. They're both smiling and happy. Derek places the photo briefly to his lips before slipping it back inside and closing the drawer.

He goes to the nightstand and sees his picture and Stiles' phone from the night before. Underneath is an mp3 player and another bottle of lube with a receipt dated the night before. He closes the drawer before heading towards Stiles’ closet. It's a walk-in and Derek immediately smiles when he sees various logo T-shirts hanging neatly inside. He runs his hands over the soft plaids and hoodies and marvels at the organization of shoes on the floor.

A shoebox on the ground captures his attention. He sits cross legged on the floor and sets it in his lap. It's too heavy and unevenly weighted to be shoes so Derek knows what he finds inside will be telling.  There are lube packets and a strip of condoms, like the kind you get at sex shops when you buy toys. There’s also a vibe inside, a clear, silicone dildo, some lavender scented massage oil, a fleshlight and some batteries along with a couple of unopened videos boasting big tits and virgin ass.

Derek chuckles, but stops suddenly when he sees something very familiar. It seems as though the yearbooks weren't the only thing of Derek's that Stiles swiped. It was a magazine, soft-core, featuring guys and girls solo or together in intimate positions and various combinations.  Derek wonders if Stiles knows why he had the magazine until he turns to a marked page and sees Vic, spread out on the grass, his pants dangerously low and his toned torso on full display. The page number has a red circle around it and is marked “ _P?_ ”

"Derek, you up? Breakfast time, buddy." Stiles didn't yell, doesn’t have to with Derek's hearing. Derek places everything back in the box and walks down the backstairs to the kitchen.

“Hey,” Stiles says as he takes bacon out of the pan and rests it on some paper towels to cool and drain.

“Hey.”  Derek comes behind Stiles and lightly runs his hands up and down his mates’ sides.  Mates was always something of a fairy tale in his family.  He never believed in the animal nature of the thing; doesn’t prescribe to the idea of instant connection, but he knows Stiles is the closest to what he’s imagined it to be.  His hands feast on the exposed flesh as he hums into Stiles’ neck, rubbing his lips against a vein, feeling it pulsate and thrum.

“I’m making us some breakfast. “ Stiles turns his head to kiss Derek and feeds him a piece of bacon.  Derek sighs contentedly before lightly slapping Stiles on the ass.

“Damn, mom always said I should have a lover that can cook.”  Stiles laughs and hands Derek a plate of fried apples to set on the table.  There are potatoes, eggs and fresh fruit already laid out.  Stiles is at the oven making flapjacks.  “Really though, this is great Stiles, thank you.”  Stiles nods and pours Derek some orange juice. He turns back to the stove, dropping more batter onto the griddle. Derek looks at him curiously.   

“You’re not nervous, are you Stiles?”  Stiles shrugs.

“Sometimes, I’m pretty hyperactive, have to remember to take my pills to stay mellow, or mellow by my standards.”  Derek nods.

“Since I’ve been here I mean.  You’re not flaily.  I know I haven’t been here long, but you haven’t gotten flustered, haven’t really been clumsy.”

“No.”

“Why not?  I mean, I like you either way, I think it’s cute when you’re that way, but you seem so…”

“Focused?”  Derek dips a piece of potato into some ketchup and nods again.

“Yeah, focused.  Why?”  Stiles turns to Derek and wraps himself around the young man, whispering into his ear.

“There’s no time for anything else.  Awkwardness is a luxury of those who have time.”  He looks at Derek and nods his head, hoping he understands.  He turns back to the stove.  “All of this Derek, these things we take for granted, all they do is take time.  Breakfast is a formality, piss and clothing and phone calls to check in with Dad?  They’re meaningless pit stops, but they have to be taken because even though they’re annoying as shit, they’re life.  When this time between us is over, then I can freak out and flail and cry about how much I probably suck in bed or worry about slipping in the shower, but right now is for you.  Right now it’s all you.”

Stiles turns back around and holds Derek again.

“You’re everything and you’re worth putting my idiosyncrasies on hold for a while.”  Derek shakes his head.  

“Stiles, I don’t want you to change, I want you to be you.  You shouldn’t feel like you-” Stiles squeezes Derek closely to him, only the thin fabric of the apron separating them.

“I’m not changing, Derek.  I’m still me. I’m just less introverted, and I’m more… _Derekverted_.”  They both smile at that, but Derek is still unsure.

“Stiles, I don’t deserve, I mean, I don’t-”   

“No Derek, we talked about this.  These three days, when I say I love you, you agree.  I want you to Han Solo the shit out of me, okay?”

“Yes. Okay.” Stiles beams.

“Shit, I’m so glad someone finally gets that reference!”  Stiles wraps his arms around Derek’s shoulders and kisses him stupid, pouring everything he has into it.  He watches Derek for a while and traces his lips with his finger.  “Derek?”

“Yeah, Stiles.”

“I love you.  With my everything, I love you. With the parts on display and the parts on hold and the parts on the other side of this apron, I love you.”  Derek smiles wide, seemingly illuminating the room, competing and winning only against the morning sun filtering in the window.  

“I know.”  Stiles laughs and Derek tears off the apron and spreads it over the table before lifting Stiles and setting him on top of it.  He spreads Stiles out between a bowl of strawberries and a plate of sausage patties.  He scents the air and turns back towards the oven, turning off the pilot light and removing the hot pan into the sink.  He turns back to Stiles and winks.

“Safety first!  Wouldn't want to start a fire.”  Stiles laughs incredulously before moaning as Derek blows him right there on the table.

 

10:00 am

Stiles is holding Derek in his arms as they lay in bed.  The tattoo isn’t there yet, but Stiles traces the outline of the triskelion where it will lay on Derek’s back.  He chants _alpha, beta, omega_ and _past, present, future_ nearly imperceptible under his breath.  Derek smiles and lets his tears fall into the pillow beneath him.

 

12:30 pm

“Okay, see that box in the clearing?  You’re going to grab that and inside there’s a cloaking spell.  We’re gonna use that to change into orcs so we can sneak past them.”  Derek nods, determined and rushes out into the clearing with Stiles at his heels.

“Fuck, what are those things?!”  Creatures seem to pop out of nowhere and throw mini balls of light at the pair.  Stiles is undeterred.

“Don’t worry about them.  We have enough shield, we just have to get that spell and then we can pass by the orcs undetected.”  They carry out their plan, unleashing the spell and passing the orcs before crossing the gates into the next level.  As Stiles adjusts the settings, Derek looks over at him in a gaze made from a mixture of wonderment and something indefinable.

“So we changed into orcs?  How do we change back?”  Stiles shakes his head and lays down the slice of pizza he’s just taken a bite out of.

“Nah, you don’t change who you are, just your appearance.  The spell wears off and then you’re you again, just a little more experienced.  Derek watches Stiles as he puts the finishing touches on his supplies order.

“You play this game a lot?”  Stiles shrugs.

“Not really.  Scott hates it and it’s really better as a two-player game so I decided to inflict it on you.  You ready?”  Derek nods as they run through the forest, picking up items and obliterating monsters along the way.  At the end of the level, Stiles beams as Derek unlocks an easter egg.  He laughs, almost to himself.

“This is crazy, you’re... you’re really not too bad at this.”  Derek laughs.

“I had video games, Stiles.  I’m not a complete _noob_.”  Stiles sputters nearly spitting pepperoni on to the floor.

“Did you just say _noob_?! Dammit, Derek, you’re such a dork.”

“You love this dork.”

“God help me, but I do.”

“Besides, I learn quickly and I have a great teacher.”  Derek bumps his shoulder into Stiles who blushes slightly.  Stiles sighs and takes another bite of his pizza, causing a little of the grease to run down his chin.  He rubs his face on Derek’s shoulder and then licks the spot clean.  Derek looks at him with fake disgust.

“Did you just use me as a human napkin?!”  Stiles tries to shrug nonchalantly, but ends up shaking with laughter.  Derek feigns offense before tossing the slice of pizza into the box and throwing Stiles’ controller across the room.

“Hey!”  Stiles barely gets out due to him nearly wheezing and snorting.  Derek straddles his legs and tickles him, before bracing his hands on his chest.  He waits for Stiles’ to calm down, gazing into his shimmering brown eyes.  They're so clear like this, like a weathered topaz.

Derek kisses him.  It’s not chaste, but it’s sweet, and it lingers, full of longing and desire.  Stiles runs his hands along Derek’s thighs accepting his tongue into his mouth and lapping it with his own.  Derek pulls back and looks at Stiles

“For what it’s worth, while you do suck in bed, you’re definitely not bad at it.”  Stiles writhes in pretend agony.

“Oh my God, I’m in love with the corniest man alive.  Who told you that it was okay for you to tell jokes, dude? It’s just not your thing.”  Derek shrugs, his cheeks hurting from being unable to control his smile.  

“You love corn.”  Stiles shakes his head and kisses the palm of Derek’s hand before placing it back on his chest.

“I love your corn.”  They watch each other awhile, almost seeming to make sure nothing has been missed in their time together.  No secret mole, or golden eye speck gone uncategorized.  Derek looks at Stiles, perplexed, nearly unbelieving.  

“Fuck Stiles, do you know how beautiful you are?”  Stiles gapes, surprised, and then flushes, suddenly embarrassed.  For him, this time with Derek wasn’t about feeling good himself.  Really, his own feelings were just a byproduct of his feelings for Derek being played out.  One satisfied the other.  He hasn’t really considered the implication of Derek’s attraction.  Or at least he hasn’t wanted to.  Stiles is sure he’s not a troll, but he knows he can’t compete with a Hale of any age.  He was sure the Hale genes laughed in the face of puberty and teenage awkwardness.  The Derek before Stiles oozed confidence from his pores.  Stiles was just happy people didn’t scream when he came too close reeking of Proactiv.

“No, I mean. I don’t really think about if I’m beautiful to anyone, really.  Except my mom, I think I was beautiful to her, but… I don’t know.”

“Well you are.  You’re gorgeous” Stiles’ raises his eyebrows, unsure of how to take this revelation.  Derek takes his hand.

“Let me show you?”  Stiles can’t help but grin.

“Yeah.”

Derek leads Stiles upstairs and has him lie on his back on the bed.  He watches Stiles, waiting for the sign to stop as he crosses the room and goes towards the closet.  Stiles sits up slightly as Derek disappears inside.  He comes out holding the shoebox, watching Stiles intently.  Stiles gulps, but doesn’t say anything, his body fighting a war between complete embarrassment and explicit trust.  

Derek kneels on the bed and pushes Stiles back down before turning him on his stomach.  Stiles hitches his head towards Derek as he rustles through the box, taking out the massage oil and the vibe along with a packet of lube, setting them on the bed.  He straddles Stiles hips and places a couple of drops of the massage oil into the palm of his hands.  He leans over Stiles and whispers into his ears.

“I’m going to show you how beautiful you are, and if it’s too much, tell me and I’ll slow down, okay?”  Stiles nods and closes his eyes as Derek’s warm hands begin to caress his neck.

“Stiles, your neck is delicious.  It’s so long and thick and sturdy.  I love the way your Adam’s apple moves when you laugh or even when you cough.  I love how it leads into your impressively broad shoulders and biceps.  You’re biceps are getting really good, you’ve been playing a lot of lacrosse haven’t you?”  As Derek says this his hands have moved from Stiles’ neck to gently massaging his shoulders and upper arms.  His hands squeeze and knead the muscles, releasing any tension into the atmosphere.  The combination of Derek’s words and his touch make Stiles feel like he’s floating, only being tethered by Derek’s hips.

“Derek.  Derek, please.”  

“Shh... it’s okay heart, I got you.  Let me keep going?”  Stiles nods and Derek kisses his temple before continuing.

“Your back is so strong and so defined.  I love the mole you have here, love to kiss it when I’m fucking you.  Love how it sits just behind your heart.  Love that you’re my heart.  Your waist is so slim and so smooth and I love how it tapers slightly in, giving way to these cute little dimples above your ass.  I think they’re called thumb-holders?  I love to kiss them.”

“Shit Derek, I’ve never heard you talk this much in my entire- _ahh_!” Stiles’ remark is cut off by Derek spreading Stiles’ asscheeks and blowing a soft stream of air onto his exposed anus.  He grabs a pack of lube and tears it open, dripping it into Stiles’ crack, watching as the lube runs down over his hole and onto his balls.  Derek’s eyes flash and his fangs begin to breach his gums.  His clawed finger rubs the lube comfortably into the boy who is writhing beneath him.

“Easy there big guy, I’m not made of paper, but neither are you.”  Derek pinches Stiles’ cheek with fully human hands and turns his attention back to his ass.

Without saying a word he presses his forefinger in.  Stiles is so loose from their play over the last few hours that they probably really don’t need the lube, but Derek wants to make sure that he’s as comfortable as possible.  He adds a second finger as Stiles tries desperately to gain friction for his cock that is caught in the bedspread beneath him.  Even the young version of Derek is a heavy weight and his position has Stiles’ thighs pinned to the bed.  

“Derek please, Derek move, just let me- _oh god!_ ” Derek growls as he’s presses in a third finger and begins scissoring them to stretch Stiles.  Stiles’ head is shaking back and forth as he slobbers and sweats into his pillow; he digs his blunt nails into the sheets beside him as Derek works him open.  Derek takes his free hand and grabs the vibe.  It’s small, black and silicone; orb shaped with a tether that leads to a small remote.  Derek turns it to the first level and holds the vibrating nugget against Stiles’ rim.  

“Derek, yes!  Please, please Derek, don’t fucking tease- _please_!” Derek smirks and gives Stiles’ globe a light slap before rubbing a soothing circle over it with his palm.

“Hush!  I got this.”  Stiles gathers up all his strength to flip Derek off.  Derek grins and slowly eases the vibe into Stiles’ clenching heat.  Stiles’ body swallows it and Derek pushes it in until he sees Stiles’ eyes roll back and tongue hang out of his mouth.  He pulls it back a little, satisfied when Stiles starts breathing again.

“That’s good, Stiles.  You’re so good.  So perfect and open, you don’t know what you do to me. ”  Stiles swallows hard as his hips make aborted movements between Derek’s thighs.  Derek gets up and gently turns Stiles over.  HIs body is glistening with sweat and the smell of heat and lavender waft off of him, making Derek dizzy with lust.

“Stiles, your nipples.  Even your fucking nipples are perfect.”  He says as Derek rubs a thumb in a circular motion around his chest.  Stiles grabs Derek’s wrist and shakes his head.

“No more, D.  Shit, I get it, I’m the moon, you’ve hung me, I can’t take this.”  Derek smiles and kisses Stiles’ protests from his lips.

“But I haven’t even talked about your moles yet.”  Stiles groans deeply as Derek smiles and lies gently on top of him, turning up the vibe another level and kissing his neck, his collarbone, and his nipples.  He tongues his belly button and rubs his sparse stubble against his Apollo belt leading to Stiles’ leaking dick.  He even massages Stiles’ calves and his ankles and he kisses the bottom of his feet and licks each toe.  All the while he adjusts the setting on the vibe and talks and tells Stiles how beautiful and wonderful he is and Stiles cries and falls apart until he’s coming and coming and he never wants it to stop.

 

2:25 pm

Derek lies on the bed, listening to Stiles rustle through the closet.  He comes out with his book bag and climbs onto the bed, nesting in next to Derek.  He opens the bag and pulls out the yearbooks.  Derek’s breath catches and he grins weakly.

“Is it too much?”  Stiles watches Derek’s expression closely.  He’s not a werewolf but he knows Derek’s pulse has elevated a bit.  Derek shakes his head and kisses Stiles lightly before smiling vaguely at the yearbooks.

“Nope.  No, let’s do this.”

They flip through the pages with either Stiles stopping and asking questions about what certain inscriptions mean, or Derek seeing a familiar face and telling stories.  There was one where in the back of a track and field picture you could see smoke in the background.  

“My buddy Vic set a fire in the science lab that smoldered for hours.  He said he was trying to make hair gel.  I sat with him in detention for 3 weeks after that!”  Stiles watches as the memories flood Derek.  He’s happy and relaxed as they go through his sophomore year reliving the good times.

They get to the picture of Derek and the young man who signed the “treasure’ statement that Stiles loves so much.  Stiles traces the letters with his finger, rounding out the bowl of the ‘P’ that circled Derek and his friend’s face.

“Who’s this?” Derek smiles fondly.

“You don’t recognize him?”  Stiles looks closer, but didn’t see a huge resemblance to anyone.  The picture was in color, but was a little bit grainy.  

“No, should I?” Derek turns to the individual pictures, skipping to the ‘L’ section.  Stiles remembered he’d only really looked at the H’s, though he did try the P’s just in case this mystery man was there.  Derek flips through the pages and there in the third row, 4 photos over is a color picture of-

“Parrish!?  What the fuck?  I thought he didn’t know you?”  Derek grins, but furrows his brows just a bit.

“Yeah, I saw him at the station and he didn’t recognize me.  I know he was in the army so maybe something happened and he got some sort of amnesia?  Though how he ended up back here, I don’t know.  Though I guess your first instinct would be to go home.”  

“How’d you know he was in the army?”  Stiles asks while Derek stares at the picture.  He looks at Stiles quickly and shrugs.

“He must have said something about it when I was at the station.  Anyhow, this is Vic.”  Derek could tell Stiles was confused and quickly explains.

“Vic and I met in 7th grade.  That’s why I know his real name.  When we got to High school we were both bussed in, so he saw it as a way to kind of become someone new.  His full name was Victor Camden Lahey.”  Stiles nestles into Derek’s arms, laying his head on his chest.

“This is Isaac’s big brother?”  Derek nods a bit.

“He, uhh, yeah, he did have a little brother.”  Stiles kisses Derek’s chest, right above his heart.

“You took him in.  You were good to Isaac.”  Derek bristles a bit, but Stiles shakes his head.

“Don’t do that, you’ve been through a lot of shit, Derek.  But you know how to be good to people.  You were good to Isaac.  You knew when to pull him in and knew when to push him away.  Why did he start calling himself Parrish?”

“He liked the name Parrish, always had.  We even had fake licenses and his said ‘Parrish Jordan’.  He loved that name and it caught on to everyone at school except for me.  He always seemed put out when I called him Vic, but I know he loved it.  The only other person that would call him that was his dad and his dad was an ass."

“His dad is dead.”

“I know, I mean, I figured as much.”  Derek paused thoughtfully before closing the yearbook and setting it off to the side.  “He ran away between our sophomore and Junior years.  I remember feeling really betrayed because it was after Paige happened and I really needed him there.  He was my best friend.  I didn’t realize he needed me even more.  He wrote a couple of letters, he did some modeling and tried to hitchhike up the coast to Portland.  His dad found him and sent him to military school, so I guess he enlisted shortly after.  I heard that he died, that he was MIA, but then I saw him at the station, just as clear as day.”

Derek thinks that he should say something to Parrish.  He wonders if Stiles expects him to, or even wants him to.  But what do you say to the best friend that abandoned you?  Or that you inadvertently abandoned because you couldn’t handle your own grief?

“He was right, you know?”  Derek brings himself back to the present and meets Stiles’ bright mahogany eyes.  Stiles has opened the yearbook again and is pointing at the inscription.

“You are a treasure.”  Unexpected tears spring to Derek’s eyes.  

“Stiles!”  Derek kisses him brusquely, tossing the yearbook off to the side and spreading himself out on top of Stiles’ body.  He licks the shell of Stiles’ ears and whispers to him softly.

“I told you, I won’t ever forget it.  I promise.”

 

5:43 pm

“Yeah, maybe some Thai?  It doesn’t matter what, just put it on the table like before.  And could you go by the store?  Just some juice and cereal.  Maybe some milk?  Yeah.  No, I’m gonna call Dad when I’m done with you.  I haven’t really needed- yes, shit, I’m taking them!  Tell Kira I say hi, okay?  Does she- okay.  Thanks so much, Scott, you’re amazing, you have no fucking idea.  Fuck you dude, I love you.  Bye.”  Stiles disconnects the call and dials his dad.           

“Hey Dad, it’s me.  Just checking in, Scott and I are shooting the shit, you know.  Yes dad, I’ll be sure to wash my mouth out with soap.”  Stiles winks at Derek on the bed who grins while flipping through a comic book on Stiles’ bed.  He puts it down and walks to Stiles desk taking out a pen and a notebook.  

“So Daddio, any cute ladies down there?  No harm in seeing if you still got it, old man.  Just don’t bring me back any siblings, okay?  Ha!  I like having you several hundreds of miles away, you won’t remember any of this when you come back.  Whatever, just shut up and tell me what you learned about rubber bullets.”  Derek watches Stiles at ease, laid back in his gaming chair, teasing his father on the phone.  He turns back to the paper in front of him and begins to write.  

“Okay Dad.  Yes, I know.  Everything is fine, I couldn’t be better.  No really, I’m doing great.  Scott’s in the bathroom, but I can have him call you later if you’re that concerned.  I know Dad, I love you too.  Bye.”

Derek has folded the paper and put it between his yearbooks which are piled on Stiles’ desk.  He goes over to Stiles and straddles him on the chair.  Stiles considers the note briefly, but his attention is captured by the man above him.  Derek runs his hands around his own neck and slowly caresses his chest.  He traces the trail of hair from between his pecs down his torso, circling his belly button.  His eyes never leave Stiles who stares at him wildly and hungry.  Stiles reaches out as Derek begins to stroke himself, and laughs when Derek slaps his hand away.  

“Just sit back and watch.”  Stiles exhales as Derek writhes above him.

 

8:00pm

They’re downstairs in the kitchen eating drunken noodles with beef and chicken panang.  Derek has a shrimp bikini that he’s feeding to Stiles.  Stiles grins and reaches over, brushing his thumb over Derek’s cheek.  Derek blushes and looks at his plate, suddenly bashful.  Stiles inspects him curiously, but waits for Derek to start.

“I know that you love me.  And I know why you love _me_ ; you’ve told me and shown me in great detail.”  Stiles nods and holds Derek’s hand while he finds the right words to continue.

“But... why do you love _him_?  I mean, you said without me there’s no him.  That all of my roads lead to that, but I’ve seen how he hurt you, Stiles.  I don’t want to lead to that, I don’t want to-” Stiles hushes him gently and kisses the back of his hand before scooting his chair in close and wrapping himself around Derek, rubbing deep, soothing circles across his back.  After a quick hug he sits back and massages Derek’s hands, calming him while he explains.

“Derek is kind and self-sacrificing and beautiful.  I love and hate those things so much about him and I prefer it that way.  That he’s so kind he gets taken advantage of, and he’s so self-sacrificing that he constantly puts his own life in danger.  He’s so beautiful that he only thinks it applies to his exterior.  He’s flawed and insecure and runs on empty and I love and hate that about him too.  It’s a strange mixture, but it’s surprisingly balanced.  

“People mistake love and hate for opposites, but I don’t think that’s entirely true.  I think they’re both explosive feelings that are based on caring and they can work congruently.  The real opposite of love is indifference.  If I don’t care about his wallowing, his self-loathing, or his martyr complex and only paid attention to his strengths, then I don’t think I could say that I truly love him.  But if I can hate him for those things, then I can respect him and love him for them too.  

“I just want him to let me, you know?  I can handle it.  He thinks… they all think, that because I’m human, because of the nogitsune, that I’m weak.  But I’m not and I never have been.  A lot of the reasons I understand those things in Derek is because I see them in me.  We have a lot more in common than he’ll admit, because the stuff we have in common is the stuff that no one wants to touch.”

“No one but you?”  Stiles looks at Derek with tears stinging his eyes and streaming down his face.  He nods.

“Yeah.  Fucking crazy, I know.  But I’m crazy about him.  I love him so much.”

“I know Stiles.  I- I’m crazy about you too.  He… he’ll-” Derek doesn’t finish.  Just picks up a piece of mango from their sticky rice and feeds it to Stiles.  They sit and finish their dinner in a comfortable silence.  

 

10:00 pm

They’ve got the TV on mute, just flipping through the channels and watching the images.

“So, you’re seeing a girl?”  Derek looks quickly at Stiles, wondering what prompted the question, but also realizing that Stiles’ mind is always working so maybe it was nothing at all.  Also, Derek kind of forgot about his life outside of this moment, and he wants to keep it that way for as long as possible.

“We don’t have to talk about that, Stiles.  This time is for us.”  Stiles shrugs.

“No, it’s okay.  I want to know about the people who make you happy.  Tell me about her.”  Derek hopes Stiles doesn’t notice his grimace as he tries to find ways to be as diplomatic as possible.

“Her name is Kate, which I know you know.”  Stiles nods and Derek continues.  “She’s older than me, but she made… makes?  She makes me feel… invincible.”

“Invincible?  Like you were strong?”  Derek shakes his head.  

“No, Paige made me feel strong, but with Kate, I feel so powerful.”  Stiles fiddles with the remote, keeping his eyes on the TV and worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Well you know, with great power comes great responsibility.”

“Thank you, Uncle Ben.”  Stiles can’t resist a small smirk.

“You know what I mean.  Just… be careful.”  Derek watches Stiles closely, listens to his heart which beats at an uncharacteristically normal rhythm.

“I… I know she’s not the best choice.  But I feel good when I’m with her.  She’s full of surprises.”  Stiles huffs.

“You could say that.”  Derek watches some commercial on the TV, yet only paying attention to Stiles, to his movements, his breathing, anything that would give an indication of where this is going.  He tests the waters a bit.

“And if I do really lose my family, then I know she’ll be there to help me through it.”  Stiles’ scent goes suddenly sour just as Derek predicted.

“Oh man, Derek… I can’t-”

“Look Stiles, this isn’t about Kate, it’s about you and me, right now.  Right?”  Stiles nods and finally turns, locking eyes with his beloved.  

“I know, I’m sorry.  I couldn’t help myself, I just had to-” Derek squeezes his hand on the back of Stiles’ neck and kisses his forehead.

“Don’t apologize, Stiles.  You never have anything to be sorry about.  You wanted to know because you love me and you want to know every part of me.  I appreciate that, it feels really good.”  Stiles nods and climbs into Derek’s lap, resting his side against Derek’s torso and wrapping his arms around his shoulders.  He holds him close for a while, luxuriating in the heat between them.  He pulls back and looks at Derek.

"Remember that feeling?  Even when you go back, you’ll remember that?”  Derek smiles and nods.

“Yeah.  I will.  I promise.”

 

11:30 pm

“I should shave.”  Stiles looks down at Derek’s face between his legs.  He rubs his stubble against Stiles’ entrance and the back of his balls and inner thighs.  Stiles intakes a sharp breath and shakes his head.

“No!  Don’t.”  Derek gives a small smile and a wink before returning to the task at hand.  Or in this case, at mouth.

 

1:00 am

Stiles stretches his aching limbs. He allows his muscles to adjust, but he loves the ache, loves that it's an indicator of the way he and Derek have shown their love for each other. It’s almost like they've learned a new language. Where scars, jabs and scrapes used to define their love, now lay bites, stubble burn and pleasant soreness. It’s a welcome exchange.

Derek stirs and moves his cheek from Stiles’ chest to nuzzle into Stiles’ armpit, inhaling deeply.  Stiles shudders a bit and laughs.

"Dude, you might not want to do that. We totally reek."

“Don’t call me, dude.”  Derek muffles from Stiles’ pit.  He laves the hair there with his tongue before smelling it again. Stiles watches while crinkling up his nose.

"Oh my God, you're ridiculous." Derek grins.

"Yeah?" Stiles nods and kisses Derek sloppily, tasting his sweat and funk on Derek's tongue.

"Yeah." Derek shrugs.

"I like it.”

"I love you.”

"I like that even more."

"I love you most of all.”

"Say it again."

“I love you.”

“You love who?”

“I love you, Derek Hale.”

“I know.”

 

4:20 am

They’re in the shower, rinsing cum and lube from each other’s bodies.  Stiles rubs his finger against Derek’s lip with one hand while jacking him off with the other.  

“Show me your fangs.”  Derek opens his mouth and drops his fangs.  Stiles fingers them and pricks his finger on the tip of one, causing a small droplet of blood to appear.  Derek groans and closes his mouth over the finger, soothing the cut with his tongue.  When he opens his eyes they go from chocolate brown to blue to a muddy green. Stiles swears he can see citrine undertones and a stormy sea beneath that.  

Derek grabs him and pushes his chest against the shower wall.  He places his tip at Stiles’ entrances entering in one wrecking motion, fucking into him brutally, scratching his claws at the tiles on either side of Stiles’ head.  The shower fills up with sounds of restless moans, desperate grunts and the slapping of skin against skin.  As he comes Derek sinks his teeth into the nape of Stiles’ neck, deepening the mark there even further.  Stiles comes untouched and they both sink to the floor, Derek curls around Stiles’ back, still inside.  

 

8:45 am

Stiles walks stiffly into the bedroom with a bag of Doritos and two Cokes.  He sits next to Derek and presses play on some movie from the Marvel universe.  They cuddle in next to each other as the credits start.

“Do you wanna know how I got here?”  Derek says as he runs his hands up and down Stiles’ back, leeching the pain away.  Stiles stops him after a moment and rests his head on Derek’s shoulder.  

“No.  This isn’t something I can ask for again, so I’d rather not know.”

“That’s weird for you though.  To not know something.  I’d thought you’d be going out of your mind with curiosity,” Stiles shrugs.

“I wonder, but then I put it aside.  If I spend too much time thinking about it, then I lose time with you.  Besides, if I did know…”  Derek breathes in Stiles’ hair.  

“If you knew?”

“Then we’d have more than 3 days.  We’d have forever.”

“Stiles.”  Stiles kisses Derek lightly on the lips and grabs a chip.

“Shh... the movie’s starting.”  

 

9:15 am

Derek breathes lightly while securely cocooned in Stiles’ embrace. Stiles realizes they fell asleep during the movie and puts the TV on mute before wrapping himself around Derek again.  His ear presses to Derek’s back, listening to his heartbeat.  Derek shuffles a bit and Stiles holds him more firmly out of instinct.  Derek giggles.

“Gotta pee.”  He says lazily. Stiles nods into Derek’s back, his reply muffled into Derek’s skin.

“Okay.”  Derek tries to move but Stiles just tightens his hold.  Derek sighs with fake exasperation.  

“Stiles!  I have to piss.”  Stiles shakes his head back and forth, his nose tickling.

“Don’t wanna let go.”  Derek smiles and turns his head to look at Stiles as best he can.

“Come with me?”  Stiles nods without opening his eyes.

“Yeah.”

They shuffle out of bed and walk hand in hand towards the john.  They piss in the toilet at the same time, the pungent aroma filling up the air around them.  Derek inhales, taking in all of Stiles and Stiles makes a gagging sound as he shakes the remaining piss from his tip.  Derek pinches his ass and kisses his cheek before they flush and go to the sink to wash their hands.

They take a detour and instead of heading back to their bedroom, they head down the stairs.  Stiles is in front with Derek’s hands on his shoulders.  Stiles has one hand on the bannister and the other one on top of Derek’s hand.  They go to the kitchen and open the fridge, flooding the dark room with artificial light.

Stiles reaches in and grabs a bottle of water.  He cracks it open and downs half of it before passing it back to Derek.  Derek drinks some, letting a little bit dribble to wet his lips.  He presses his cool lips to his mark on Stiles’ nape causing him to shiver a bit.  Stiles takes another drink and recaps the bottle, closing the fridge door.  He feels around in a cabinet blindly until he finds a bottle of olive oil and leads Derek into the living room.  He sits him on the couch and kneels with knees on either side of Derek’s thighs.  He drizzles some of the olive oil on his fingers and on Derek’s dick, giving it a couple of tugs before using his oily fingers to open himself up.

He places both hands on Derek’s shoulders as Derek grabs his dick by the base.  He kisses Derek, open mouthed and dirty and lowers himself smoothly onto Derek’s erection.  They moan into each other’s mouth as Derek’s hips piston into Stiles’ squats causing the room to be filled with nothing but slaps and squelches and moans and ' _Derek_ 's and ' _Stiles_ 's and ' _I love you_ 's and ' _So perfect for me_ 's and ' _please_ 's and ' _stay_ 's.  

 

10:30 am

They both know this is the last time and they cling to each other, shivering in anticipation.  Stiles has already started crying and digs his nails into Derek’s body, shaking the both of them, trying hard not to panic or pass out.  They’re fatigued and desperate, but even more determined.  Derek is whispering in Stiles’ ear, he can’t tell what exactly, only getting bits and pieces, but his voice is enough to keep him grounded.  

“Stiles?  Stiles, do you hear me?”  Stiles nods and muffles his sobs into Derek’s shoulder.  Derek is laying over him, holding him as tightly as he can in his arms.  

“Stiles, I’m going to take you over the edge, and when you wake up, I’ll be gone.  I want to say goodbye now, because there won’t be time later.  If I try to say goodbye then, you’ll think it’s a dream.  I don’t think you want that do you?  Do you want me to say goodbye now, or later?”  Stiles closes his eyes and drops his head back on the pillow, his voice comes out hoarse and abused, his throat swollen from his sobs.

“Now, just right now.”  Derek kisses his mouth, his forehead, his nose, and each eyelid.  Stiles looks into his storm filled eyes that are red with tears.  His nose is running and his tears are dripping onto Stiles lips as they smush every part of themselves together as they can.

“Goodbye Stiles.”  Derek pushes into him in one thrust and pulls out before crashing into him again.  Stiles sobs as he locks his ankles around Derek and reaches for the headboard above him.  He cries and moans as his heart lays into him with a feverish and unforgiving vigor.  He gives him everything and Stiles starts to come, rope after rope getting caught between their bodies which are so close and sliding against one another.  With every burst Stiles’ eyes roll into the back of his head until finally his vision begins to white out.  

“Derek!”  He tries to stay lucid for one last second and catches a glimpse before going under.  He swears he sees yellow eyes shining at him, a month old beard and the tanned sinewy skin of a man older and more damaged.  He swears he can feel the heavier weight and hairier extremities wrapped around him, but most importantly he can almost say without any doubt that he heard “love”.  In a gruff, rougher voice, he swears he heard it; maybe he’s the one who said it?  He can see it in front of him, over him, waiting.  He reaches out and grabs it, mounts it and rides it forward.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not implicitly stated, but they are naked the ENTIRE time. You're welcome.
> 
> Chapter 3A will be up by 3pm EST on 11/5!


	3. || Chpt. 3a: The End aka Things Fall Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No. He needs to… you need to-. If you try to change, you won’t be you anymore. I love _you_. You can’t change the past, but I promise you, if you let me, I’ll change your future.”

Chpt. 3a: The End aka Things Fall Apart

 

He’s there now.  Somewhere recognizable, familiar.  It’s later, maybe 12 years?  

' _No_ ,' he tells himself, ' _it’s definitely 12 years; you can’t ‘maybe’ 12 years.  5 or 10, sure, but 12 is definite.  12 is real._ '  Stiles can see himself, or maybe he is himself?  He’s dreaming, but he’s also seeing something very real.  They’re at a formal event, perhaps a wedding?  Yes, a wedding.  Maybe it’s for the Sheriff and Melissa, maybe it’s for Coach and Greenberg?  There are children running around.  Beautiful children, a couple are his.  Scott looks at him.  He’s got a beard now, longer hair than usual and he’s being climbed by a child that Stiles knows as his niece.  A woman comes and pries the little girl off of her father’s side, kissing him sweetly before she goes.  It’s Allison… no, it’s Kira.  She goes and grabs the hand of a little boy who is about the same age as the girl.  An older girl trails behind them.  

Scott comes up and talks to Stiles, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.  He speaks excitedly, carefree.  They’re brothers, they always have been, nothing has changed.  

“Get yourself together man!” Scott says with a laugh.  This is the only part Stiles can hear from him.  He takes off Stiles’ glasses - _Stiles has glasses now_ \- and wipes them clean before placing them back on his face.  He gives the motion to look at the bright new world and Stiles blinks and looks around.  

He realizes that he’s not Stiles, well, he is, but he’s also not.  This happened in front of him, but not to him.  He’s an observer at this party.  He can’t see his face, can only see the back of him... in front of him.  His hair is perfectly coifed, not a strand out of place.  His suit is rich, tailored and fits like a glove.  A young girl comes to him, bright hazel eyes, long, dark black hair; she runs into his arms.

“Daddy!”  He picks her up -this older and wiser Stiles- picks up this angel and balances her on his hip.  

“Where’s Papa?” He asks her.  The little girl’s expression goes sour as she places her head on Stiles’ shoulder and looks away.  Stiles begins to walk towards the entrance and there he is.  

Derek.  But… not Derek?  Something is strange about this Derek.  This Derek has a drink in his hand and gives Stiles a wink.  This Derek has slicked up, gelled back hair and practiced stubble, like it was painstakingly spraypainted on.  This Derek is wearing cosmetic frames and has a phone glued to his hand, texting with one hand while drinking with the other.  This Derek has smooth eyebrows and exfoliated skin.  Stiles walks up to him and kisses him chastely on the lips.  They place their arms loosely around each other.  Stiles loops his hand around Derek’s waist; Derek puts his around Stiles’ shoulder nearly shoving his drink in their daughter’s face.  He doesn’t notice.  Derek grins, but he doesn’t smile, it’s practiced and missing the wattage that’s earned from defeating a life hampered with obstacle.  

Stiles watches as he and Derek interact with others.  

“Yeah, I just got promoted so that corner office is coming soon.  I’m going to San Diego for 4 weeks for training.  I think Stiles and the kids are going to stay with Grandpa so they don’t get too lonely while I’m gone.  You’ll have fun with Grandpa, won’t you sweetie?”  The little girl doesn’t respond, but it doesn’t matter because her Papa wasn’t looking at her anyway.  

The crowd doesn’t seem to notice either as they laugh and agree that the older man will definitely have his hands full.  

It’s a lie.  Stiles knows instinctively that it’s a lie.  He knows that there is no training, that this is a separation.  Or maybe he’s being cuckolded?  He knows he’s not taking the kids to Grandpa’s for fun, but for good.  This is a show, why is this a show?

“Derek!”  Derek looks over to Kate Argent and then over to Stiles who is watching the scene incredulously.  He’s right behind his future self, so it could be a trick of the light, but he swears Derek looks directly at him.  

“There’s the boss.  I swear, even at off-the-clock events she’s still a ball buster.  She’ll be the death of me, Stiles.”  He smiles brightly before heading over.  He stops halfway and is now unmistakably looking at Stiles, as future Stiles has turned away and is calling for a little boy with sparkling brown eyes, an upturned nose and raven black hair.  “She’s going to kill me, Stiles.  Here, or there.  Then, or now.  She’s going to fucking kill me!”  He laughs then and greets her with a jokingly put off expression.

“Kate!  How can I help you _off_ _hours_?”  Kate is dressed in a beige colored wrap around dress.  No, she’s a werejaguar and she’s wearing leather.  No, she’s definitely in a peach summer dress.  It’s beautiful out, definitely summer.  

“I thought I told you not to invite your boyfriend?”  She seethes barely above a whisper.  Future Stiles doesn’t hear, but Derek’s persona falters a bit as he grabs Kate’s arm.  Kate wrenches her arm out of Derek’s grip giving him a hard, shit eating smirk.  “Easy there big boy, I just don’t think it’s wise to give him ammo for the divorce.  You’re on my property now, and I don’t do discreet.”

“Kate, fuck!  Come here.”  Derek disappears around a corner with Kate following.  Future Stiles is trying to distract the girl -Madison, her name is Madison- who just watched her Papa leave the room.  

“It’s okay honey, Papa’s boss just needs to have a word with him.  Probably about the conference they’re going to next week.”  Their voices fade out and they become blurred.  Stiles realizes that he’s crying.  He sees his beautiful husband, and his gorgeous kids surrounded by his amazing family but something is wrong, something is different.  He squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head back and forth roughly.  

He feels a hard hand on his shoulder.

“Get yourself together man!” Scott says with a laugh.  This is the only part Stiles can hear from him.  He takes off Stiles’ glasses - _Stiles has glasses now_ \- and wipes them clean before placing them back on his face.  He gives the motion to look at the bright new world and Stiles blinks and looks around.  

“Daddy!”  A little girl with short brown hair and bright brown sparkling eyes runs up to not-him.  Future He bends over to pick her up.

“Hi Maddie-bear!  Where’s your Papa?”  Maddie shrugs carelessly and gives her daddy a smacking kiss on the cheek before tucking her head into his shoulder.  She pets his hair absentmindedly.  His hair is long in the back and top, cropped on the sides.  A hipster mullet.  Stiles laughs at that, wondering what changes in the world that would give him a hipster mullet.  He can see a scar on the side of his head.

Derek shows up, looking stressed.  Handsome, but raggled, like he’s spent his life running.  Not away, but after something, protecting someone, protecting… Stiles?

“Sorry heart, I had to get Benji to his Aunt Lydia.  Look, give me Maddie and I’ll take her to Scott and then we can go, okay?”  Derek speaks to Stiles’ pointedly as Stiles' gaze wanders around the room.  Derek reaches slowly for Maddie, but Stiles’ grip tightens around the little girl.

“Why are we going?  I don’t want to go, we just got here!  Didn’t we?  The ceremony hasn’t even started yet.”  Derek put his hands up as if surrendering and exhales slowly, trying to reign in his frustration.

“Today was a big day for you, sweetie.  The wedding happened, remember the kiss?  You cried?  But it’s been a long day, so I think maybe I should take you home and we can get some rest.”  Stiles looks around, confused, but also knowingly flustered.  He knows something is wrong, something is off and though he can’t figure out why, he knows he trusts Derek.  Mostly.

“Derek!”  Both Stiles look over to the left quickly where Kate Argent is standing.  Derek takes Maddie quickly and kisses her cheek before telling her to run to her Uncle Scott.  

“Derek come here, I need to speak with you.”  Kate is wagging her finger at Derek and Stiles has grabbed Derek’s sleeve defensively.  He shakes his head as though trying to clear his thoughts.

“Who is she, Derek?  I don’t- I don’t remember her, I don’t think.”  Derek shushes Stiles’ concerns and gives him a quick hug.

“You know who that is, heart.  That’s Kate, she’s my boss.”  Stiles suddenly shifts, so he’s no longer looking at the scene, but he is Stiles of the future and Derek is so close he swears he can feel his breath on his face.  “Kate is in control of me, Stiles.  She’s running my life." He grips Stiles tightly. "She’s ruining my life.”  Stiles' eyes go wide with panic.  His mouth opens, and while it’s his voice, it’s not his thoughts that come out.

“Kate is why we’re together.”  Derek’s brow furrows.  

“What?  Stiles, why would you say that?”  Stiles understood what future Stiles meant by that statement.  That the understanding of pain and loss was something that connected and bonded them.  

“DEREK, NOW!”  Kate growls, her hair blows in a nonexistent wind and Derek begins to pull away from Stiles, as if on some sort of dolly.  His eyes pierce into Stiles as he’s carried by the summons.

“Why would you say that, Stiles?  She already got to you once, she'll do it again. Kate’s going to kill me.  Then you.  Then our children.  One way or the other.  Unless-” Derek’s words are muffled and Stiles tries everything to move.  To save Derek from her clutches.  

“Derek, wait!   _Fuck_!”  He finally is able to take a step forward, but is pulled back with a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Get yourself together man!” Scott says with a laugh.  This is the only part Stiles can hear from him.  He takes off Stiles’ glasses - _Stiles has glasses now_ \- and wipes them clean before placing them back on his face.  He gives the motion to look at the bright new world and Stiles blinks and looks around.  

“Daddy!”  A beautiful little cocoa skinned darling with wild, soft brown curls runs into his future self’s arms.  

“Hi Maddie-bear!  Where’s Papa?”  She giggles as Stiles tickles her tummy.  

“He’s with Benji.  Daddy, why does Papa keep looking like he’s waiting for someone to show up?”  Stiles laughs brightly, belying the tension in his tone.

“Maybe he’s looking out for Santa Claus so he can be naughty?”  Maddie laughs.

“Daddy that doesn’t even make sense!  It’s July!”  Stiles shrugs.

“Haven’t you ever heard of Christmas in July?”  Maddie lays her head on Stiles’ shoulder as she tries to make sense of that statement.  Derek walks in, clearly on edge, a cherubic Korean boy on his shoulder.  Derek is paranoid and flustered.  He walks to Stiles and almost kisses his eye.

“Babe, you gotta get it together, she’s escaped, but there’s no way she’s stupid enough to stick around.  She’s probably back in Mexico.”  Derek lets out a sound of relief.  

“Thanks, Stiles.  It’s just… it’s been 2 weeks and I can’t get this nagging feeling that she’s around.”  Derek looks past future Stiles and directly into Stiles’ soul.

“She’s going to fucking kill us.  She’ll start with our children.  And then you.  And then me, and she’ll draw it out and it will be the worst type of hell.  Unless-”

“Derek!”  Future Stiles admonishes his husband while consoling the children who start to get riled up at their Papa’s agitation.  “Not in front of the children.  Let’s get out of here, let me say bye to Scott and Allison and we’ll go.”

Stiles watches them leave.  He looks outside of the door and Kate is staring at him.  He closes his eyes and tries to scream a warning cry for his family.  Before the sound can escape him-

“Get yourself together man!” Scott says with a laugh.  This is the only part Stiles can hear from him.  He takes off Stiles’ glasses - _Stiles has glasses now_ \- and wipes them clean before placing them back on his face.  He gives the motion to look at the bright new world and Stiles blinks and looks around.  

Stiles remembers the time he read a blog post about the movie _Groundhog’s Day_.  Someone calculated the time and it turned out Phil was really there for decades, stuck in a loop for an eternity until he learned which metaphorical key unlocked the door to his freedom, allowing him to continue on his timeline.

He doesn’t hear anything this time, just sees them in front of him.  Sees himself, looking normal, slightly older, slightly hipsterish.  Sees Derek, normal, laughing brightly.  He’s talking about his sisters who are outside.  Stiles looks outside and see them, they’re beautiful and happy.  

Future Stiles looks bored.  Looks complacent.  Like something is missing.  The sun is bright and everyone is smiling brightly.  Everyone is happy.  The children are generic and bland; they giggle and coo as bystanders _ooh_ and _ahh_. So happy.  Scott laughs, Kira laughs, the kids laugh, the Sheriff and Melissa beam.  They’re happy.

And that’s all they’ll ever be.  Scott chuckles some more and slides back just to the edge of Stiles’ vision.  Stiles’ gaze doesn’t follow; he just watches this pod family in front of him.  These imposters.  He’s pissed and he’s not entirely sure why.  This happiness isn’t forced, it’s genuine, but it’s two dimensional, nearly see through.  There’s no depth.  There’s more conversation behind the words than in the words themselves.  This life.  It’s easy, it’s without complication, and it’s a fucking lie.  

“WHERE’S KATE?!” Stiles yells and everyone turns and looks at him.  He startles as his future self actually takes a step forward.

“Who’s Kate?”  He asks, with an air of urgency.  He knows something is missing too, but he can’t put his finger on what.  Stiles can tell his future self is still lacking a mother and has a hole in his heart that this version of family can’t fill.  

“Who is she?  Who is Kate?”  He takes another step towards Stiles, but seems to hit a wall.  Derek throws his head back and guffaws manically.  Everyone turns and looks at him and starts laughing as well.  Future Stiles acquiesces as Derek wraps an arm around him shoulder and leads him outside.  

Stiles blinks away the tears and notices Scott is still standing there, no longer looking at him, but off to a blind spot on Stiles’ left.  Stiles begins to turn his head and sees a bright, blinding light that warms his face.

 

***

Derek closes the front door behind him and stretches, yawning towards the afternoon sun.  He steadies himself and walks over to Stiles’ Jeep.  Scott is sitting inside with the windows down, listening to nonsense on the radio.  He sees Derek coming towards him in the mirror and turns his head when Derek leans against the door.  

Scott looks at Derek and then ahead.  He turns down the radio and taps out a meaningless rhythm on the dashboard.  

“How much longer?”  He asks.  Derek doesn’t lie, doesn’t try to convince Scott he’s wrong.  Just answers him, like an equal.

“It’s already starting to fade.  I got out just in time.”  It was strange, seeing this younger version of Derek, but hearing the voice of the older Derek come out.  “He’s asleep, he’s clean, but when he wakes up, he’ll need you.”  Scott snorts.

“I know that Derek.  I know how to take care of him.”  They share a look, Derek’s mostly pained.  Scott immediately regrets what he said though he makes no moves to take it back.

“Do you think he’ll figure it out?”  He tries for a change of direction.  Derek shrugs.

“He’s smart.  Too smart.  He probably already knows, but you know he’ll never say.”  Scott nods.  

“Yeah.  Yeah, I know.”  Scott wonders how much time he’ll have to clean up before Stiles wakes.

“He’s asleep now.  I know you’ll take care of him.”  Derek hits the door and starts to walk away.

“Derek!”  Derek turns back and peers at Scott who looks into his eyes for a long, silent moment.  He’s resigned himself to his best friend being in love with Derek, and he’s getting on board with the fact that Derek might just be in love back.  But he has to be sure Stiles doesn’t get hurt, that this is good for him.  

“Do you love him?”  Scott asks, clearly and directly.  Derek looks at the house and then looks at Scott.

“Scott, I… I can’t.”  Scott nods.

“I know, but do you love him?”  Derek flushes and rubs his hands over his face.  He’s already taller and Scott can see the thicker stubble as Derek scratches his chin.

“I can’t be what he wants, Scott.  I can’t be what he needs.”  Scott shakes his head.

“You were for three days, Derek.  I heard him say he loved you.”  Derek crosses his arms defensively in front of him, visibly upset that Scott witnessed one of their private moments.

“When did you see this, Scott?  How long did you-” Scott waves him off.

“I’m his best friend, Derek.  I dropped off food and I heard you on the stairs.  I wasn’t there for long, but I know you were riding him, and you begged him to say he loved you and he did.  You never said it back.”  Derek seethes with anger, but Scott glares at him resolutely and without fear.  “What the _fuck_ were you thinking, Derek?  How am I supposed to fix this?  How can I fucking fix this if you don’t love him?”  Derek drops his head to the metal frame of the Jeep, before balling a fist against the edge of the door.  

“I... it’s not that simple, Scott.  He said he loves me, but he just loves that version of me.  The one that’s not fucked up. Or at least not as fucked up with the Kate thing.  It's too much, I'm too much!”  Scott rolls his eyes indignantly.

“Do you really believe that?  After all of this?”  Scott’s knuckles turn white as he grasps the wheel to center himself.

“You did all of this because you thought it was what he wanted, but I bet you didn’t count on it being what you needed, did you?  You’re so fucking in love with him, Derek that you can’t even function.  Had to do all of this because you thought it was the only way he could possibly love you back?  You fucking hugged him and he was in pieces, Derek!  You didn’t see him, you weren’t there.  You didn’t hold him, trying everything in you to keep him together.”  Tears streamed down Derek’s face.  Scott considered stopping, but knew he had one chance to get Derek to see.  “If you love him, I can use that.  He can use that to move on, or to keep trying, or whatever it is you thought would happen after this.  I just... I wish you got as much out of these three days as I know Stiles did.”  Derek leans against the car and runs his fingers through his longer hair.

“He asked me about Kate, told me to be careful.”

“He doesn’t want you to get hurt.”

“But he knows I’d be better if I didn’t go through all that shit with her.  That’s what he wants, someone who can get over themselves enough to move on.  I’m too selfish, Scott, I can’t.”  Scott gives an exasperated huff.

“No man, that doesn’t sound like Stiles, that sounds like your bullshit.  Stiles loves you for you.  Your shared pain or some angst ridden romantic shit like that.  And instead of just letting him love you, you’re out there doing a shit ass job searching for Kate.  When you find her, what are you going to do?  What’s your plan, dude?  Why does she keep trying to ruin your life?  Why do you keep letting h-”  Derek punches the side door before throwing his hands up and backing away as Scott’s alpha eyes shone bright red.  Derek shakes his head.

“Gotta go.”  He begins to walk away briskly until he’s once again called by Scott.

“Derek?”  Derek looks back at Scott’s normal, kind chocolate brown eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Do you love him?”  Derek watches Scott for a long moment before looking up at Stiles’ window.  He looks back down at Scott, knowing the werewolf can hear his truth.

“Yeah Scott. I’m so fucking in love with him it kills me.”

“Okay.”

“See you around?”

“Yeah.”

 

***

Sunlight pours in through the window as it meanders slowly through the sky.  Stiles puts up his hand to block the rays, estimating he's been out for a few hours. He scratches his chin and notices he's clean and newly clothed.

His bed clothes have been freshly changed and he's pretty sure even his mattress has been flipped.  He sighs contentedly and runs his hands over his chest. He inhales deeply, still smelling Derek deep in his pillow.   He reaches a hand into the front of his pajama pants, past the band of his boxers and begins to lightly stroke his cock.

He's not really hoping for completion, just more making sure everything is still there. He knows Derek has pieces of his heart and lightly fingers his rim making sure the rest of his bits are in place.  He quickens the pace slightly on his cock, luxuriating in the memories his bites, stubble burns and scratches leave him.

He lets out a soft moan as he licks his palm and wraps it around the base of his cock. He begins to thrust into the fist as he uses his other hand to press at the bite mark in the back of his neck.

A light snore reaches his ears and his heart nearly stops as he sits up looking across the room.  He breathes a sigh of relief as he sees Scott asleep uncomfortably in his office chair.  He considers his hand still wrapped protectively around his dick and thinks about finishing what he started.  Scott’s caught him in much more precarious positions before.  

He smiles to himself and gets up, passing Scott and heading to the bathroom. On his way back he rouses Scott who awakens adorably, instantly inspecting Stiles carefully for damage.  Stiles nods and gestures, motioning for Scott to follow him downstairs. He heads into the kitchen to gather food while Scott sets up the console.  He sees the game Stiles and Derek played earlier.

"You guys play this?" Scott asks as he reads the back cover. "The one with the orcs and the cloaking spells?" Stiles grunts in the affirmative from the kitchen and Scott laughs.

"I guess it's good that he's a big ole dork too." Stiles walks into the living room and throws a baby carrot stick at his head.

"Shut up or I'll eat your sandwich." Scott beams.

"Oh my God, you made my favorite!"

They play for a while, racing carts and killing zombies. Stiles lets Scott play solo on a bonus level and thinks back to his dream.

He remembers something he forgot.  Almost like a fleck on a windshield, he sees something unclear in his blindspot.  Scott’s attention was pulled; he knows Scott was looking at it.  This time, his gaze follows Scott’s, and he shifts to Scott’s point of view. He sees clearly, Derek - _his Derek_ \- sitting dejectedly on a folding chair in the corner.  He’s got a line of what looks to be mountain ash around him.  Stiles sees Kate standing beside Derek, constantly shifting between all of her dream state personas: peach summer dress, black leather and denim, werejaguar, evil incarnate.  She's suddenly holding a match which lights instantly and throws it to the ground igniting the powder, trapping Derek Hale in a circle of fire.

Stiles feels a strong hand on his shoulder shaking him.

“Stiles, bro!  It’s okay, I’m here, what’s wrong?  Tell me what to do, bro!”  He feels Scott encasing himself around Stiles, shaping him while his body shudders with angry tears.

He hugs Scott back, trying not to dig into Scott’s jacket and just burrow there forever.  He knows he needs to let go, to keep moving.  

Stiles gently shakes Scott off who leans away slowly resting a hand on Stiles’ knee.  He’s quiet, but watches Stiles carefully.  Stiles flails a bit, releasing some pent up energy and shakes his head, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“No dude, seriously, I’m okay.”  He starts.  He looks at Scott who is skeptical.

“Stiles… are you?  Are you sad?  Because-” Stiles shakes his head quickly.  

"No, it's okay.  I'm not sad, I promise I'm not.  It's just... all of this is just a lot and I think it's catching up with me, that's all."  Scott looks forlorn and helpless.  Stiles can see the gears turning in his head, trying to concoct an idea to fix the emotional mess that is his best friend.

“Scott, bro, honestly.  Get used to it, okay?  I’m going to be fucking blubber central for a while, okay?”  Scott nods.  He hates it, but he understands that Stiles is going to need some time to get through this.  He hates Derek a little for putting him in this position.  Derek loves Stiles and Stiles loves Derek.  This should be able to work.  Maybe if Stiles knew Derek’s secret.  If he knew that current Derek loved him all along?  

"Stiles, if-"

"Scott, if I’m going to get through this I need you to be okay.  I’m going to need to cry and just fucking vent and I need you here for that, okay?  Like, not just physically here, but fucking _here,_ you know?”  Scott nods and squeezes Stiles’ knee.  Stiles grins widely, cracks his neck and grabs his controller.  He just kind of fiddles around with it, not advancing through the level in anyway, he’s not even fully sure if it’s him playing or Scott.  

“So what's next?  What happened the last 3 days, what's new?"  Scott shrugs.

“Not much.  Some berserker sightings, still can’t find Kate, fucking lacrosse tryouts are next week.  Same old shit, I guess.”  Stiles nods.  

“Have you seen Derek?”  Scott looks at Stiles who’s looking at him.  They search each other’s expressions though neither one is entirely sure what they’re searching for.  Scott shakes his head again.  Stiles nods.

“Where do you think he’s been?”  Scott looks down at his hands that he’s just now noticed he’s wringing together.

“Probably looking for Kate?”  Stiles gives a huff of agreeance and finally turns his attention back to the game.  Scott rests his hands over Stiles’ controller and looks at the contrite young man who is now wringing Scott’s hands in his own.

“Where do _you_ think he’s been, Stiles?”  Stiles doesn’t answer, a tear slides down his cheek.  He sits there for a moment, just running his finger down Scott’s lifeline.

“Kate…”  He trails off, gaping a few times trying to find something to say, “He… he left me a note.”  Scott’s brow furrows, but he waits patiently for Stiles to continue.  

“He says… he’s so happy that I love him, but he’ll never be enough for me.  Never good enough.  Tells me I gotta move on.”  

“Are you going to?”  Stiles breaks out into a surprising smile, grinning.  It fades slowly from his face and though he said no words, both he and Scott know what it means.

“So, what’s next?”  Scott releases his hand from Stiles and runs it through his hair.

“Well, first I kick your ass in this game.  Then we gotta meet up with the pack and figure out what’s next.  You up for it?”  

“Yeah, but let’s save the pack meeting for tomorrow night.  I just wanna hang in tonight.”  

Scott nods in agreement while Stiles outfits his character.  “Anyhow, after I get done kicking _your_ ass, we can go to the field and get some lacrosse shit in?”  Scott laughs while reaching for his controller.  

“Hell yeah dude, but don’t think you’re just gonna kick my ass.  I’ve got three days of practice behind me; I’m going to smoke you!”  Stiles exhales slowly and throws a wink at his best friend.  They’re sitting on the floor, backs to the couch, shoulders nudged up against one another.  

“So what’re we gonna do today, Scottie?”  

“Try and save the world, Stiles.”  Stiles nods and thinks back to his dream.  He imagines Kate in the circle of fire, he and his man holding each other, watching while she burns.  He smiles.

They may not save the world, but he would save Derek.  They were going to find Kate Argent.

And Stiles was going to kill her.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAMF!STILES FTW!
> 
> I know this may have been a bit trippy, but I hope you liked it. If you have any questions just shoot me a comment! Just shoot me one anyway, I live for your comments ;)
> 
> Fun fact: originally this was supposed to be a short 1 shot and the last line up there was the last line of the fic. But I couldn't leave you guys hanging like that!
> 
> Next chapter will be up by 2pm EST 11/6


	4. || Chpt. 3b: The End aka Things Come Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you love him?” Derek watches Scott for a long moment before looking up at Stiles’ window. He looks back down at Scott, knowing the werewolf can hear his truth.
> 
> “Yeah Scott. I’m so fucking in love with him it kills me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where it gets _reeeeally_ canon convergent and then it just all goes to hell and gets _suuuuuper_ self indulgent, so if you haven't watched the finale you might be a bit (more?) confused, but it should be okay. 
> 
> Just know that everything is aces up until the morning after the temple.

Chapter 3b: The End aka Things Come Together  

 

That night Scott and Stiles volleyed a few balls around the lacrosse field and then got carry-out at a local pizzeria.  Later they went back to Stiles’ and finally Stiles made Scott watch the _Star Wars_ trilogy.  Scott’s mind was blown on what he’d been missing out on and they spend the rest of the night being as dorky and weird as possible.  

It was a nice distraction.  The next day Sheriff Stilinski returned with news from his conference and slaps upside both of the boy’s heads.  Stiles for harassing him on the phone and Scott for letting him.  Stiles made everyone lunch and he and Scott got ready for the pack meeting at Scott’s later that night.  Stiles only broke down a couple of times, and ultimately he felt peaceful as his life slowly went back to normal.  

Of course, over the next few weeks, all hell broke loose.  The Benefactor, Liam, KATE, more Berserkers, Meredith, _Peter_ , fucking chemical warfare at the school, Sheriff Stilinski got shot, Parrish is _something_ , and now Scott and Kira were kidnapped by Kate and being held in an old Mexican temple.

Stiles saw Derek around occasionally.  He knew he was seeing Braeden while they searched for Kate.  Seeking out comfort in her arms.  Stiles couldn’t be upset; he was doing the same with Malia.  He hated it, but ultimately he knew that this blockade was between he and Derek was temporary.  So he’d let Derek self medicate in the way he knew how and Stiles would do the same.  He knew though -could feel it in his bones- that soon they would converge.

 

***

The full moon is low in the sky, clearly not at full power as Liam naps in the back of the transport van.  Derek sits with his legs outstretched in front of him and his head back, eyes closed.  Stiles sits cross legged beside him, checking his phone, hoping to God his dad wouldn’t call and try to stop them before they reached the temple.  He has so much he wants to say to Derek now that they’re semi-alone, but he has to keep reminding himself that this wasn’t for them, it was to save Scott.  Still though, he can’t forget his original mission.

Save Derek.

“So you’re human now?”  Stiles asks without looking over.  Derek shrugs.  His lack of verbal answer prompts Braeden to look back from where she’s was driving.  Stiles looks over finally, not necessarily at Derek though, but at the way the moonlight glances off of his features.  He notices a scar on Derek’s cheek.

“You can’t heal?”  Stiles wasn’t sure why he asked.  Really all of this “ _Derek is kinda human now_ ” news was all new to him. It’s the first time he could concentrate on it since the benefactor business.  

“-just slower.”  Stiles looks into Derek’s eyes, not realizing he’d spaced a bit.

“What?  I’m sorry, I missed-” Derek sighs and is about to repeat himself when he looks over at Stiles and gasps.    

‘ _Stiles, you know how your eyes can look different depending on the light?  Your eyes glow.  They sparkle.  Even now, the middle of the night, the moon illuminates them; they shine like a precious gemstone.  And in the morning they’ll shine the exact same.  I could get lost in your eyes, I could swim in them, I could drown in them.’_

_‘Derek your eyes are gorgeous, and I envy the children you have that get that trait passed down.  You say you don’t like yours as much, but that’s just because they’re so stormy.  But even a storm can be beautiful.  I wouldn’t mind being shipwrecked in your eyes.’_

The night Derek and Stiles had that conversation they were holding each other by the window in Stiles’ bedroom.  Stiles was running his fingers through Derek’s hair while Derek cupped him gently by the buttocks, lightly running his thumbs over the creamy flesh.  The night they recall this conversation they’re sitting side by side in a transport van, the only light coming from the moon as it travels through the sky.  

“Stiles?”

“Derek.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 

***

Fucking berserker pieces of _shit_.  After what ended up being a tumultuous ride with an inexperience beta, the boys and Braeden arrived at the temple.  They were so close to thinking they were going to pull this off and as soon as Derek even opens the door to the van, he’s got a berserker claw in his ass.  Stiles watches as his future lies on the ground fading away.  

“Save him.”  He thinks he says before realizing it’s Derek.  He’s talking about Scott, and Stiles knows he has a mission.  Kate and the fucked up shit she created have already ensnared Derek, they weren’t going to take Scott too.  

Stiles runs inside the temple to find Scott.  He’ll deal with Derek later.

When they were 10 years old Stiles convinced Scott that they could fly.  They walked up to the roof of Scott’s house with the idea of using a bedsheet as a parachute, and couch cushions as a safe landing pad.  From the roof of the house the cushions looked a lot less sturdy.

Thankfully Melissa caught them just as they were about to jump.  This was fine by Stiles, who’d chickened out long before, but Scott was heartbroken that he’d never gotten the chance to try his hand at flying.  Stiles wondered what Scott was feeling now as he soared through the air above them, his fist careening into Peter’s face, knocking him out cold.  Stiles couldn’t help but smile as he watched his friend come down from his high.

The sun rises over the temple, bringing light to a new day.  Kate has somehow escaped again, but everyone else lives, safe in the knowledge that at least Peter will be contained.  The group is outside, catching up and making plans for the future.  Derek says something to Braeden and then goes to where Stiles is talking with Scott.  Scott gives Derek a nod and goes to attend to Kira.

Derek and Stiles stand there a moment, not saying anything, just looking into each other.  Not as though it were the last time, but almost like it’s the first.  

“You don’t look surprised that I’m okay.”  Derek says, breaking the palpable silence.  Stiles shrugs lightly.

“If I thought for a second I was going to lose you, I wouldn’t have left your side.”

“Stiles-” Stiles huffs a bit.

“You have to go with Braeden, right?  Figure out this Desert Wolf thing, try to see if it ties to Kate?”  Derek nods and looks over to the van where Braeden is speaking to Araya.  She’s pretending she hasn’t been looking over at the two of them.  

“Are you going back?”  Derek asks, trying not to dwell on the subject.  Stiles shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m gonna stay behind a bit and wait for my dad to come down while they figure out how to get Peter back to Beacon Hills.  I figured I’d stick with Argent and help him try to track down Kate.”  Derek looks up, slightly surprised.

“You wanna track down Kate?  Why?”  Stiles squints and crinkles his nose at Derek.  

“She turned my best friend into a berserker for starters.”  Derek let out a sigh.

“Of course, yeah, sorry.”  Stiles nudges him with his elbow.

“ _And_.”  Derek looks at him, searching.  He’s so close if only he'd let himself go.

“And?”  They hear a cough in the distance and notice they’re now impossibly close to one another.  More people are watching than not so they take a step back and Derek turns to go back to Braeden.  Stiles calls out.

“See ya Derek?”  Derek looks at him over his shoulder.

“Stiles?”

“I’ll see you, okay?  Soon.  You gotta go, I know, but-”

“Stiles.”  Stiles doesn’t have a clue what Derek is trying to say, and he doesn’t know if he could take it anyhow.

“Yeah, D?”  The sun shines brightly into Stiles’ unflinching eyes.  Derek lowers his brow, resigned.

“I’m never going to not be like this. I’m always going to be brok-”

“Derek.”  Stiles pleads with Derek to look at him and see.  “I’ll see you soon, okay?  Real soon.  This will all be over and we’ll see each other then, okay?”  Derek nods and Stiles walks towards Argent’s vehicle.  Scott and Argent are already talking and Stiles places a hand on his shoulder.  Scott nods in acknowledgement and turns back to Argent.

“I’m sorry things had to be this way, I really am.  But I do hope you find her and deal with her.”  Argent nods grimly.

“At least with you kids and Derek, I had a chance of maybe saving or rehabilitating her.  But when the Calaveras catch her… I guess it’s all for the best.”  Solemn, respectful glances are made in Chris’s direction as both boys shake hands with the beleaguered man.  

Stiles says goodbye to everyone.  He shakes Liam’s hand, silently burying the axe between them as a thank you for saving his brother.  He kisses Kira on the cheek and gives Scott a long bruising hug.  He goes to Malia who stands in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest defensively.

“So you’re staying here?”  She asks, trying to piece together what’s happening, though she understands more than she lets on.

“Just until we find Kate.  After that, I’ll be back.”  Stiles says, hands shoved into his pockets.  His shoulders are hunched in a defeated stance, but his eyes are hard and unmoving, glued to hers intensely.  She frowns.

“You’ll be back, but not to me.”  Stiles shakes his head.

“No.  Regardless of how any of this goes, not to you.”  She takes a step back and looks down at her shoes.

“I just- I just wish you would have told me you were in love with him.  From the beginning, then I wouldn’t have thought that this was something else.” Malia looks up at Stiles, though not with pain, mostly anger.  “You’ve helped me a lot and you’ve been a good friend, but I wouldn’t have tried to make you my boyfriend if I knew you were in love with my cousin, Stiles!”

“How?  Malia, who said-” She waves her hand to stop him.

“You were always so damned protective of that pillowcase.  So I looked inside and I saw the picture of Derek.  And I know you have a folder with just a picture of him on your phone.  I’m not stupid, Stiles.  Why do you think it was so easy to run away the first time?  I don’t know why I came back to the hospital, I guess after I found out about him and Braeden I thought maybe you’d moved on.  I saw that note he wrote you too.”  Stiles was pissed, but mostly at himself for allowing her to invade his home, his bed and privacy again, but he’d underestimated her and had no one to blame but himself.

“I’m sorry, Malia.  Literally every time I tried to deal with the Derek thing some other supernatural bullshit popped up.  I could never find a good time and the longer it went on, the easier it became to just give in and try to make it work with you.”

“Until it was over and you were going to dump me?”  Stiles didn’t answer, but they both knew the truth.  For Stiles, she was a pit stop.

“I know, I’m pretty shitty sometimes and again, I’m sorry.  But even without Derek, I never saw us being long term.  You’re a brand new human; you’ve got a whole world out there just waiting for you.  I’ve seen the way you look at Liam.”  Malia grins a bit, but pushes Stiles’ shoulder.

“He’s 15!” Stiles huffs.

“He looks like he’s a freshman in college.  He’s got more muscles than me, it’s really embarrassing.”  Malia gapes and lets out a curt laugh.

“He’s like 5’2”! I tower over him!”  Stiles looks at her incredulously.

“You know you love the idea of being the taller one in the relationship.  Plus, it’ll be easier for him to be the little spoon.  And hell, if that doesn’t work out you can always try to climb the literal sequoia tree that is Brett.  I hear he’s transferring to our school though I think Mason might already have dibs?  My gaydar hasn’t fully activated yet, I guess.”  Malia laughs, genuine and hearty.

“So you’re a gay now?  Bi?”  Stiles considers and then smirks upon coming to a conclusion.

“Derek.  I’m fucking Dereksexual.”  They hug politely and assure each other that they’ll be okay before Stiles goes to Araya to find out which van he’ll be riding in.  He watches Derek climb into Braeden’s truck.  He knows Derek saw the exchange between him and Malia, but wonders if he listened in.  The engine revs and they start to move away.

 

***

She stumbles clumsily across the rocks.  She can hear the dogs behind her and can’t figure out where to go next.  It’s night out and though the full moon has already passed, she seems to be distracted by some force.  She doesn’t have her berserkers anymore, for some reason once Scott removed his mask, her connection to the monsters was severed.  Fucking Scott McCall.  

She hears a howl in the distance.  Knows it’s Derek, but it’s not in pursuit of her, he just seems to be out stretching his new legs.  Fucking animal.  She knew she should be figuring out someplace to hide, but if she can get to Derek, then maybe she can at least cross one thing off of her growing to-do list.  

She lurches forward with newfound vigor towards the noise.  She’s only got a dagger on her, but she thinks with her powers it may be enough.  She felt strong despite being shot with wolfs bane bullets.  She felt invincible, nothing could stop her, not even Derek “I’m evolving” Hale.  He’d surprised her in full wolf form the first time, but now she was ready.  

She comes into a clearing and sees a young man fanning a large, smoking fire.  He appears to be alone, but she knows better.  Fucking Stiles Stilinski.  Thorn in her side, pain in her ass and he _delights_ in it.  He seems calm now, but that doesn’t worry her.  The way she figures she’ll kill him and then bathe in his blood before killing his boy toy, make Derek smell it on her.  She stalks forward in the brush.

“Come on out Kate, there’s no need for ‘ _Surprise, bitch’_ entrances.  We both know why you’re here.”  Kate laughs defiantly.  

“Of course, leave it to you, Stiles to ruin a good time.”  She walks into the clearing where Stiles has yet to turn around.  She readies her dagger, skeptical that Stiles would be so cocky.

“You can probably put the dagger down Kate, it won’t help you.”  Kate freezes, trying to detect others around her.  She inhales deeply, but it seems as though something is causing her senses to dull.  She looks up and sees Stiles standing now on the other side of the fire, watching her carefully as the smoke wafts between them.  She growls and tries to point the dagger at him, but can’t concentrate. The smoke burns her lungs and she feels her blood burning in her veins.

“Kate, please put the dagger down.  You’re going to end up hurting yourself and trust me, there’s going to be plenty of that soon, so why bother?”  She looks at Stiles, her eyes flashing.  She takes a step forward and notices the ground beneath her seems to shift.  It’s like she’s standing on a grate.

“I bet you feel a bit out of sorts right now, don’t you?  Like you want to extinguish a fire inside of you, but maybe you've forgotten what burning is? Yellow wolfs bane.”  Yellow wolfs bane does nothing to her.  They shot her with it and she’s still standing.  What is he talking about?

“I know what you’re thinking, Kate.  And I had the same question.  On its own it can be enough to take down an alpha werewolf.  Chris, you know - _your brother-_ thought when he _shot_ you with it; it would be enough to take you down.  But werejaguars take a special kind of magic.  See, not only do you have to inject it into the bloodstream, you also need it in the lungs and sinuses so it can get into your nerves.  Fuck with your Kate, brain.”

What?  Kate’s head cocks to the side, she tries desperately to understand what's wrong.

“Listening are Kate, you? More tell there important.”  Kate looks at Stiles wildly trying to figure out what he’s saying.  She opens her mouth to question and instantly vomits, falling to the shakier ground.

“Ahh… Gerard.  Disgrace kill disappoint you are.”  She looks at Stiles who’s still talking to her, nonsense, untrue things, waving his arms, gesticulating wildly.  His eyes glow in the light of the fire as she lies on the ground.  He walks around the fire and kneels near her head, bringing his face close to hers.

“Allison fault, kill fuck die alone. Hellfire!  Halefire.  Najual berserk Derek?  Derek?  Soon, gutted.  Byegood!”  He pulls something and though she’s lying down on the ground, she’s getting further away from him.  Something hits her knee and her leg is suddenly bending in a direction that legs don’t go.  She feels a scratch on her elbow and the rock she hit drips blood and a yellow oozing liquid.  She looks up and sees Stiles putting a ring of ash around the pit she’s fallen into.  As she hits the bottom her head lands on a rock and everything goes black.

 

***

Bright sun floods into the hole she’s in as she tries to find her bearings.  She attempts to raise a hand to shield the sun from her eyes, but finds her arm is trapped beneath her.  It’s getting close to noon and the sun scorches the inside of the hole, burning her human skin.  She can’t shift and she’s not healing.  She hears voices and lays in wait.

“We’d heard of burning wolfs bane in a fire to activate the ingested wolfs bane of a werejaguar before, Mr. Stilinski.  We just could never figure out how to corner the hunter without risking unnecessary danger to others.”  

“Kate is first and foremost a danger to herself before anyone else.  Instead of catching her, it would be easier to lure her to something she couldn’t resist.”

“You seem to be an expert in these matters?”  

Kate hears a chuckle and groans at the implication.  She finally tries to move again and cries out as pain shoots through her body.

“Isidro, it’s time.  Go get the others, please.”  She hears a grunt of approval and listens as someone shuffles away.  Soon the bright, hot Mexican sun is blocked by Stiles standing at the entrance of the hole.  He’s wearing a sun hat.  He has sunscreen on his nose.  She fucking hates him.

“Hello Kate.”  He has the nerve to grin.  “Have a good nap?  Seems like a waste of time, but I guess you don’t have a lot you can get done down there now do you?”  Kate snarls.  She’s in human form, but she can still snarl like a shebeast.

“Stiles.”  She says simply, glaring at him from about 25ft. below.

“What’s that Kate?  I can hear you okay, but it’s more difficult when you whisper.  Be sure to speak up.  I want to make sure you have time to say what you need.”

“Stiles, what the fuck are you doing here?” Stiles shrugs.

“Needed a vacation?”  Kate becomes nonplussed and tries again to move.  She’s stuck.

“I’m just kidding of course.  After all the shenanigans at the temple, I thought I’d stick around and help the Calaveras with their search.  I’ve dealt a lot with your past damage so we were able to put together some good patterns.  You always leave so much wreckage in your wake that you think you’re unstoppable.  But everyone has a tell Kate, and yours is bigger than most.”  Kate maps out the walls.  She can climb out of here easily.  Even with her leg, she can muster up the strength to pull herself out.  Just keep him monologuing and he might not even notice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Stiles.  What vice do I have?”  Stiles tsks and shakes his head as if he’s disappointed.

“Don’t lie to me, Kate.  Don’t try to trick me or use any of your- actually.  I guess you can, it won’t help or hurt you in this situation, I’d just think you’d have a better use for the time you have left.”  

Kate watches him, still searching.  She’s skeptical, but cautious.  “How did you find me?”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist following him.”  Kate deflates and sinks into the corner of the hole.  She looks around and sees she’s laying on a bed of purple wolfs bane, it’s wrapping itself around her wounds, preventing her from healing.

“I get it, you know?  Your obsession with him.  I’m kind of the same way; everywhere he is I have to be.  I get antsy if he’s away for too long.  After he left for South America I thought I would die.  Scott did everything he could to hold me together.  When Derek left I was so empty, empty enough for a fox spirit to inhabit me.

“I blamed him for that a little, was angry with him that I allowed him to leave me so vulnerable.  And that’s what it was with you, wasn’t it?  That a 16 year old kid left you wanting so much more, relied and depended on you so openly and trusted you so much.  You forgot for a moment that he was your enemy, and every time you see him it reminds you of the time you thought about being anything but a killer.”

Kate doesn’t cry.  She doesn’t fucking do tears.  She’s strong and she’ll get out of this.  She knows she can defeat this little cock.  

“Stiles, why is this fucking story time?  I don’t care about whatever wet dream kinkfest you have with Derek _fucking_ Hale.  I swear when I get out of here I’m going to-”

“I get it Kate.  I do.  I have that self preservation spirit too, but yours is useless now.  I need you to understand that you’re not going to make it out this time, and if lashing out helps you right now, I’m willing to give you that.  I told you that story so that you wouldn’t feel so alone.  You’d have the knowledge that someone finally understands everything you’ve been going through.  If that’s what you need to get through this time.  Because you’ve given me so much, I wanted to give you something back.”  Kate breathes heavily, swearing as she attempts to grasp at the walls around her.  She just needs to distract him.

“I’ve given you so much?”  Stiles nods and smiles slightly.

“Yeah, it’s fucked up, and I hate what you did to him, but I can’t take it back.  So I’ll use his loss and fill it with my want, and vice versa.  We fill each other in, and that’s because of you.  Without you, we don’t fit exactly right.  If there were a way to go back and undo your damage I would, even knowing that we wouldn’t work.  But there’s not, so we work with what we’ve got.  You gave me Derek, Kate.  And I’m giving you this.  Say what you need so you can accept this.”  She looks into Stiles’ eyes which are bright and focused and unforgivingly strong.  Her vision soon blurs as tears break down her cheeks.

“Shit.”  She finally acknowledges the inevitable.  “I’m going to die here, aren’t I?”  Stiles lets out a sigh of relief and nods.

“You see, Kate?  The difference between you and I is that while your fear of Derek drove you to try to destroy and kill him, my fear of him pushes me to love him.  One can stay, and the other has to go.”  She blinks the tears away and shakes her head.

“I’m going to fucking die, _here_?  Because of _you_?!”  Stiles chuckles a bit, as if humorously exasperated at her indignation.

“So we gonna do all 5 steps, or...?”  

“Fuck you Stiles!  I’m not going to die down here; you fucking did this to me.  This is all your fault you little piece of shit.”  

“Good, that’s good, Kate.  I think you knocked out like 3 right there.”

“Look Stiles, get me out of here and I’ll take care of you, okay?  Your dad still has that bill, right?  I have enough to set you guys up so you never have to worry again.  Come on, just help me and I’ll do whatever you want.  Have you ever been with a real woman?  I know you’re fucking his cousin, but you’ve never experienced anything like me.  I’ll give you what you want, Stiles.  Anything you want, Stiles.”  Kate sputters, bile and saliva dripping down the sides of her mouth.  There’s a clump in her hair that must have dried overnight.  Stiles looks on patiently.

“Bargaining.  Okay, I’m sure that was embarrassing enough for you so I won’t dwell.  Are you ready for acceptance now?”  

“You’re really saying that I’m going to die?  That I won’t make it out of this?”

“Yes.”  Kate has made it out of worse and lived to tell about it.  She knows how to play this game.

“By your hand, Stiles?  You have it in you?  To be a killer, really?  Puny, weak, nothing Stiles?  Want your boytoy to see how big and fucking strong you are?  I saw you hugging him at Scott’s house; saw you clinging to him like he was a teddy bear your dead mom gave to you.  Like a whiny, sniveling little pissant that you are. You can’t kill me Stiles!  I’m too good!  I’m better than you and I always survive!”  Kate gathers as much saliva as she can to spit at him, but it just lands back in her face.  Stiles takes a drink of water and responds to her simply.

“No.”  Kate laughs.

“No?  That’s it?  No to what, Stiles?”

“No, I’m not going to be the one to kill you, and no, you won’t survive this.”  Kate knew someone else was there and people can be bought, they can be coerced.  

“Well if not you, than whom?  I’d like to speak with your manager.” She says cheekily.  Stiles smirks.

“I brought the Calaveras with me, Kate.  They’ll be here soon, but I told them to give you some time for last words.  I know you’d need time to vent your frustrations.  I don’t mind you calling me weak, because sometimes I am.  I remember being weak when Derek was on top of me, squatting into my lap while I fucked him until he screamed.  I remember clinging to him as he pounded into me hitting my prostate over and over.  I remember we talked about our mothers and how much they meant to us and shaped us into the men that we are today even though we lost them so young.  You can call me whiny, because I definitely do a lot of that.  You can even call me a pissant because I know I am a bit of a shit sometimes.  You can pretend that you’re good at anything other than being a cockblock to life, and you can call yourself a survivor.  You can do whatever it is you need to accept what’s coming.  Because it is coming, and you’re not escaping this time.”  Kate breathes heavily.  She can do this.  As soon as the Calaveras show up, she’ll convince them to kill Stiles instead.  She can spin this into his fault.  Stiles is the bad guy here.  

“So you’re going to stand here and just let them kill me?  Think you have the stomach for that?”

“Well, I won’t _just_ be standing here watching you die.  Evidently you’re something of an anomaly, even without your freaky creation story, they’re interested in your pull over the Berserkers.  I think one of them is a doctoral student looking to get published.  Who knew there was a whole underground supernatural publishing world?  It’s really very interesting, kinda puts the bestiary to shame.  

"So some of them will research you and run tests, and some of them? They just don't like you. That said, my stomach has gotten stronger.  I’m interested to see the brains of someone who tried to turn my best friend into a murderer and tried endlessly to kill my lover.  I think it’ll be a miracle if I don’t try to dance on it.”  Kate winces at Stiles’ bravado.

“So tests, torture, then they’ll kill me?”

“Yes, but don’t mistake tasks for time.  You’re on a schedule.  They’re going to kill you and this isn’t to pain and it isn’t to torture, it’s to death." Stiles sneers a bit, clearly disgusted.

"You thought you could kill our love?  Do you know the magnitude of what we share?  You tried to kill us and you only ended up killing yourself.”  Stiles pauses to reign in his demeanor.  She’ll be punished enough, there’s no reason for him to get worked up.

“I think it would be best for you to say it Kate.  So you know.  Say ‘ _I’m going to die_ ’.”  Kate’s eyes jump as she tries to think of a plan.  Stiles kneels down as if trying to reason with her.

“Say it Kate, say it now.  The first thing they’re going to do is cut out your tongue while stalling you’re healing.  After that you won’t be able to talk.  Next they’ll take your eyes.  Say it now, while you still have the chance.”  Tears stream down Kate’s face as she runs out of options.   

“How long?  How long do I have?”

Stiles looks at Kate carefully and smirks, shaking his head at the cruel irony

“Three days.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kate's gonna make it out, right? She always makes it out, there's no way she's really going to be dead. Or you know, this is fanfic so she's gotta be dead right? Why would I keep her alive? And if so to what end? Whatever, that doesn't matter as long as our boys get together, right? They are getting back together, right?
> 
> Ahem.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> (Yes. I couldn't do that to you guys!)
> 
> The last chapter and epiilogue will be up by 3pm 11/7!


	5. || Chpt. 4: Reciprocity & Epilogue: Go Now, Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You see, Kate? The difference between you and I is that while your fear of Derek drove you to try to destroy and kill him, my fear of him pushes me to love him._
> 
>  
> 
> _"One can stay, and the other has to go.”_

**Chapter 4: Reciprocity**

 

Stiles stands watching the fire burn bright and hot before him.  One of the Calaveras is puffing on a cigar lit from the fire and taking a sip from an engraved silver flask.  He offers Stiles a hit and he accepts, bristling at the burn down his throat before passing it back.  It’s delicious.

There is a hint of melancholia in the air as Chris Argent stands there reading codes and eulogies from a book softly under his breath.  He'd insisted on a proper hunter burial.  Despite Kate’s inherent malevolence, she was still his sister and the Calaveras agreed given that he’d lost so much already.  The conditions required that her ashes be split between four containers and carried to opposite ends of the earth, buried in a mound of mountain ash.  No chances were taken; this was the last anyone would ever see of Kate Argent.

Braeden’s SUV pulls up with Derek in tow.  After they get out, Braeden claps Derek on the back and throws a nod to Stiles.  She looks to the fire and makes the sign of the cross before heading towards the bungalow to speak with Araya.  Derek walks up to the pyre, standing shoulder to shoulder with Stiles and saying nothing.  They both watch the smoke billow into banana leaves that catch the ashen steam and trickle it down into containers.  One of the Calaveras hands the flask to Derek and gives his shoulder a squeeze before leaving.

“So that’s-”

“Yes.”  Stiles answers quickly. Derek nods slowly and absentmindedly takes a swig from the flask.

“You?”

“Helped track her down.”  Derek passes the flask to Stiles who takes another hit.  He offers it back to Derek who shakes his head.

“How did you-”

“Knew you were headed this way.  As soon as I heard you howl?  Knew she’d follow you.”

"That was three days ago. I was trying to find her scent." Stiles stands still beside him.

Derek opens his mouth, then closes it.  He opens it again, and then closes it again.  The sun is relentless in the sky.  They’re standing under a tree that’s offering the sparsest of protection, but neither of them care.  Derek used to be terrified of fire, but now he wants to go closer.

“How does it feel?”  Derek jumps at Stiles’ voice, his head jerks in his direction.  Stiles doesn’t meet his gaze, simply indicates towards the fire.  “To be untethered?  To be free?”

Derek nods, but can’t stop shaking.  He exhales, but nearly starts hyperventilating.  His shoulders heave and suddenly he becomes lightheaded.

“Gotta- gotta get the fuck outta here, Stiles.”  Stiles finishes off the flask and squeezes Derek’s shoulder, trying to center him.  

“Shh… I know, I’ve taken care of it.  There’s a safe house a couple of miles away.”  Stiles rubs broad circles into Derek’s back who’s moved into a crouching position and is rubbing his face with his hands.  Stiles waves at Argent who reaches into his pocket without breaking the speech.  He tosses the keys to Stiles and nods to Derek before continuing with the task at hand.

“He’ll ride back with Braeden.” Derek considers the keys and finally looks at Stiles.  He reaches for his boy, but Stiles pulls back slightly.  He digs into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper.  Derek recognizes it immediately as he drops his trembling hand to his side.  

Stiles watches Derek closely, waiting for his eyes to settle on him.  Then he begins, clear and unwavering.  

“I know you feel like a string that’s been holding you down has been cut.  I know that instead of being exhilarating, it scares the shit out of you.  I understand that about you, Derek.  I always have and I always will.  At least with Kate you knew what was coming, knew what to be scared of, and now that she’s gone, you have no idea what’s out there to hurt you.  

“But that’s what I’m here for.  I’m not going to tie you down, you’re not going to be a piece of bait on a string to me, I’m not going to be her.  I’ll be here to keep you grounded; I’ll let you float as far as you need and when you’re ready I’ll pull you back.  And I’ll expect you to do the same for me.  If we’re tethered it will be together, you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours.  

“I can get you through this life Derek, and I can teach you to be happy again, but you have to want it. I won’t be her, I can’t.”  Derek takes the note and opens it, not really reading, just scanning the words, looking at his writing.

“She’s dead.”  Stiles nods as Derek breaks out into a fantastic grin.  He balls up the note and pitches it into the fire.  They watch it until it becomes ash and fire dances in Derek’s eyes.  He snakes his arm around Stiles’ waist who buries his face into Derek’s shoulder.  A few of the onlookers shoot them glances, some congratulatory, some cursory, but say nothing.  Stiles is tracing Derek’s tattoo with his finger, whispering in his ear, ‘ _alpha, beta, omega_ ’.  Derek draws Stiles into him and nuzzles his neck.

“It’s over.”  He says as his lips dance across Stiles’ skin.  Stiles kisses Derek’s shoulder and cups Derek’s face, running a thumb over his cheekbone.  

“It’s just begun.”  They stare at each other, holding one another tight in the sweltering heat, steam rising in the unforgiving sun.  Stiles’ eyes sparkle in the sunlight as Derek’s smile beams like a beacon of hope.  Derek presses their foreheads together before looking back at the fire.  

“Let’s go.”  Stiles grabs Derek’s hand.

“Yeah.”

 

***

Derek drives them to the safe house using Stiles’ directions.  They’re holding hands over the middle console and Derek is lightly sweeping his thumb over Stiles’ knuckles.

“So…”  Stiles says.  His head is leaning back on the headrest and his eyes are closed as they travel down the bumpy dirt road.  “I heard you went full wolf?”

Derek grins, but doesn’t answer, though Stiles seems to notice the gesture.  

“I’d like to see that.”  Derek growls lowly and Stiles smirks cockily, squeezing Derek’s hand.  

“Hey, back at the temple when Malia and I were talking?  Were you listening in?”  A long moment passes between them.  It’s so long Stiles turns his head and opens his eyes to look at Derek whose cheeks have turned a bright red.

“Derek!”

“It’s just… I only heard the end.”  Stiles laughs, good and hearty and real.

“You’re such a bastard.”

“You’re such a… _dereksexual_?”  Stiles snatches his hand from Derek’s grasp and buries his face in it.  Derek laughs and grabs Stiles’ hand back, kissing it sweetly.  He suddenly gets very serious.

“Stiles, I never believed I could have this, or you. I’m still fucking terrified, but for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel held back.  I want this, and I know you want it too, but I just gotta hear you say-”

“Derek Hale, I want you to fucking _wreck me_.”  The car swerves suddenly as Derek’s eyes flash bright blue.  Derek regains control and clears his throat, nodding quickly.

“Yeah, fuck- that’ll, that’s good.  That’s fucking great, where is this safe house, is that it?”  

Derek points at a small dwelling carved into a side of a rock.  Stiles’ heart rate jacks up as Derek pulls to screeching halt just outside the door.  Stiles tumbles out and Derek is right behind him, climbing over the center console and out the passenger side after Stiles.  

The door bursts open as Stiles falls in the room, clumsily trying to remove his shirt.  As he does, he turns around and sees Derek’s shirt is off and his pants are unbuttoned and open at the fly.  He sees Stiles staring at him and he freezes, his chest heaving.  

“Fuck Stiles, you’ve been here already?  I can smell you fucking everywhere.”  Stiles nods while drawing in every inch of Derek’s body with his eyes.  The broad, broad shoulders.  The swaths of dark, black chest hair that drizzle down onto impeccable abs.  There is a raven colored thatch of hair that disappears beneath the band of black boxer briefs and Stiles wants nothing more than to tangle his tongue in it.  But first…

“Derek.  Kiss me.”  Derek staggers towards Stiles, drunk off the premise that lay before them.  He grabs Stiles by his narrow waist and holds him flush to his body.  They fit perfectly together, their arms and legs carefully knitting to one another as they choke out any empty space between them.  Stiles wraps one arm around Derek’s back and another cards through his raven black hair, now damp with sweat.  Derek may seem out of sorts, but he’s dedicated to his mission.  

He presses their lips together, smoothly and without haste.  He has one hand on the back of Stiles’ neck, grounding him while massaging the muscle gently.  He captures Stiles’ bottom lip in between his and drags his teeth over the already pouty flesh.  Stiles makes a small whimpering noise that evolves into a low rumble that some might mistake for a growl.  Derek opens his eyes and cocks an eyebrow at the decadent brown eyes that hold his gaze.  Stiles pulls his lip free and bites Derek’s back in an act of contrition.  He bites hard causing a small dot of blood to bubble up.  He licks it quickly, soothing the wound that has already healed with his tongue.  He smiles and pulls back.

“There will be plenty of time for biting, Hale.  I want you to _kiss_ me.” Derek nuzzles Stiles’ nose sweetly.

“Bossy.  And impatient, I was getting there.”  Stiles turns his head and places little kisses around Derek’s mouth.

“I want it all, that’s all.  I think you can give it to me.  You can, can’t you?”  Derek reaches down and squeezes Stiles’ ass, hoisting their groins together.

“Damn it if I won’t spend every day of the rest of my life trying.  Anything for you.  You want it all?  You’ve got it.”  Then they kiss.  

There are some noises that exist naturally.  Ambient sounds like birds chirping in the distance or the breeze whistling through the trees.  There are sounds that are so naturally a part of the world you don’t notice they exist until they’re gone and the only time they’re gone is when something that speaks much louder takes their place.

The sharp inhale of Derek’s breath as Stiles darts his tongue between his lips seeking entrance.  The slight smacking sound of Derek’s tongue descending from the roof of his mouth and crashing into to Stiles’ wringing the wetness from it into his mouth.  The grunt pulled from Stiles’ throat at the surge of heat sent to his penis by the clinking noise of their teeth colliding.

The scraping of Stiles’ fingers as he drags them against the grain of Derek’s beard.  The determined moan that rises from Derek like a geyser.  The sound of denim on denim as the two rut against each other chasing the spikes of pleasure that occur each time they make contact.  

The brush of skin over denim as Derek cups Stiles ass and drags him up, wrapping his thighs around his hips.  The crash of body into door as he turns them around, pinning Stiles to the sturdy wooden frame.

 _Derek_ and _Stiles_ and _fuck!_ and _yes!_ fill the room around them creating a new brand of white noise for them to get lost in.  Stiles is climbing Derek and pouring his love into him from above while Derek drinks his kisses like ice cold water on the hottest day of the year.  Finally Stiles’ lays his head back on the door to breath and in doing so bares his neck to Derek who dives in instinctively.

“MINE.” He says, hard and without preamble.  He runs a hot tongue up Stiles’ neck, nosing the ratcheting pulse point, breathing heavily.

“Stiles, I-” He gulps as though he’s being strangled, “I fucking want to- I fucking _have_ to devour you.”  Stiles lets loose a low groan that seems to last forever.

“I’m yours, Derek, do whatever you need.  Fucking do it.”  Derek mouths Stiles neck moving down to the front of his shoulder just to the right of his collarbone.  He licks twice and bites.  Stiles cries out at the pain which leaves him slightly dizzy as he clings to Derek for purchase.  Derek growls darkly, his entire body rumbling as he laves at the wound.  The sharp pain lessens to a dull throb as Stiles pants, suddenly out of energy.  Derek grabs his chin between his teeth, shaking him out of his bitten stupor.

“Stiles, I know that hurt, but I had to make you mine. I don’t talk a lot about the werewolf stuff around you and Scott, but I know you know, you’ve done research, you know I have to-” Stiles wraps the arm that’s not sore around Derek’s neck and smooshes their mouths together.  He pulls back just enough to say,

“Derek, we’ll talk about your freaky werewolf shit later.  Just undress me and _fuck_ me, right now.”  Derek grins and shakes his head before peeling Stiles off the door and throwing him onto the bed.  He lands with an oof and tries to look put out, but with his mouth agape and his eyes half lidded, it comes off as horny and ready.   

Derek pulls off Stiles' pants and underwear in one fell swoop, tossing both offending items as far away as he can. Then he stalls a moment, soaking in his man.  Lying there wanton in the bed, hips lightly thrusting causing his hard, penis to smack lightly against his belly.

"Derek! Just-" Stiles reaches out, needing to grab on to something lest he slip away. Derek tries to plan where to attack first and finally just decides _everywhere_.  His right hand grabs the base of Stiles cock while his right knee wedges its way under his thigh, his left hand rubs up and down Stiles hips, pinching and squeezing flesh along the way while his mouth pulls sensitivity through Stiles' nipple.

Stiles moans and keens somehow being unable to actually touch the man who is devastating his senses. He can only grasp the sheets beneath him and give his body into a pleasure he never thought he could fully have. Sex with younger Derek was soul lifting and life affirming, but sex with older Derek is wish fulfillment and Stiles was never sure his wishes would ever come true.

"Stiles, where are you right now?" Stiles opens his eyes and is met with a clear sea foam green glistening at him like the ocean after a storm.

"I'm here, Derek." Derek's smile illuminates the room and Stiles can't help but kiss his eye crinkles. Their mouths meet one more time with a promise to see each other soon and Derek moves down in one fluid motion enveloping the whole of Stiles' aching erection into his mouth.

"Fucking, _shit_!" Stiles cries out as the tip of his penis hits the back of Derek's throat. He bucks his hips a bit and thrusts his hands into Derek's hair pulling it tightly. Derek growls causing a strip of pleasure to unravel up Stiles' dick, through his belly, up his chest, around his neck, down his spine and into his ass.

"Derek! I need you inside of me, I don't care what part, just fucking-" Derek, bobbing on Stiles cock, hollows his cheeks in the process allowing Stiles throbbing column of flesh to drag tightly between his swollen lips. He looks at Stiles through his eyelashes and is met with an incredulous gaze and a mouth agape and wet.  Derek grabs the base of Stiles’ cock, stroking it slowly as he reaches his other hand forward and runs the tip of his fingers along Stiles’ bottom lip.

Stiles slurps at the fingers hungrily, grabbing his wrist and mimicking Derek’s motions on his cock.  Derek stutters and pulls his hand back like it’s on fire before surging forward and joining their mouths, tongues fucking against each other desperately.  Derek snakes his fingers between Stiles’ thighs and prods at his entrance, circling the hole with his wetted fingers.  Stiles’ groans into Derek’s mouth unable to keep his body from moving against Derek’s body.  

Derek separates them; suddenly inhaling large gulps of air.  He swallows and looks at Stiles as if ready to impart not only the contents of his heart, soul and mind, but perhaps also the secrets of the universe and eternal happiness.  Stiles leans forward slightly, waiting as Derek pulls himself together.

“Derek?  Derek, wha-” Derek shakes his head and looks at Stiles before licking his lips.

“Lube.”  Stiles rolls his eyes and then his body off to the side to grab a bottle from the bag he’d planted earlier.  

“Such a fucking roman-” Before he can finish Derek grabs him around the waist turning him fully and using his body to bury Stiles into the mattress.  He mashes his lips to Stiles ears and Stiles can feel his entire body rumble as Derek speaks to him slowly and carefully.

“Stiles, I want you all and I’m going to have you every way I can.”  Stiles’ dick ground into the comforter and he could feel Derek’s hair and the tingling cold of the jeans’ button on the back of his balls.  Derek slathers the back of his ear with spit and digs his nose in, inhaling the scent as deeply as he can.  “Fuck romance, what we have is bigger than that.  Fucking death couldn’t kill us, we killed it, and I’m going to, _fuck_ , Stiles I’m going to-”

“Fuck, Derek!  Please, oh my god, fucking _please_!”  Derek shushes Stiles.

“Shh… don’t worry; I’m going to take care of you.  Gonna-” The rest of his words are muffled as he drags his hot, wet mouth down Stiles’ back and tongues at the dimples just above his ass.  He pulls one cheek away and immediately laps at Stiles’ clenching hole.  He delights in it, making hungry noises as he laps around the rim, softening it to allow his tongue in.  Once he slips the tip past the rim he wraps both arms around Stiles hips, rolling them over, lifting Stiles off the bed and swaying them back and forth while Stiles flails now above him.  Stiles is flailing, yelling something, but Derek is concentrating, letting the inner cavity of his perfect, perfect boy clench and slide around him.  

“Derek, please!  I’m going to come, please!”  Derek rolls Stiles back onto the bed and flips him, sinking his mouth down on his cock, guiding it with one hand and flipping the cap on the lube with the other.  He lets go of Stiles while still furiously bobbing up and down and pours some of the lube into the palm of his hand.  He drags his fingers through it and positions one at Stiles entrance.  He pulls off Stiles’ cock, gasping.  He speaks and his voice comes out raspy with lust.

“Fuck my mouth, Stiles.”  He says before going back in.

“ _Shit_!” Stiles says as he begins bucking his hips gently, trying not to gag his man.  Derek pushes a finger deftly into Stiles’ ass and Stiles grabs the back of Derek’s head, thrusting roughly into his mouth.  “Fuck, I’m sorry Derek, I can’t-” Derek growls loudly causing Stiles to thrust demandingly.  Derek slips in another finger and begins to scissor back and forth creating room for his aching erection.  At the third finger Stiles is bucking wildly until Derek’s ring finger nudges his prostate.  He stills, crying out and spilling down Derek’s throat before pulling out slightly to paint Derek’s lips and chin.  He looks at Derek who appears to have just been devastated by Hurricane Stiles.  Stiles feels dizzy, but wants to examine the damage up close.

“Oh my god, look at you. You’re so fucking beautiful.  Why are you still wearing those jeans?  I want you to fucking burn those jeans.”  Derek smiles with bruised lips and peels the jeans off of him, leaving him wearing only his gravity defying erection, waving in the air.  Stiles is still nursing his orgasm and takes a moment to just see.

“Derek.”  He loved younger Derek’s body.  Loved that he understood his body, understood the blessings and curses of underdeveloped baby fat and uneven swaths of hair.  Understood the creamy paleness and the way the skin could go from clammy to baby soft in a matter of seconds.  He understood the weight of post adolescence and the slight density that came with being involved in sports while eating everything in sight.  He got that and he loved that because it was instantly relatable, it was comfortable.

Derek’s body?  Derek’s body was uncomfortably perfect.  Every perfect hair that formed the beard on his face and neck and that designed the perfect chestscape across his torso, lightly circling his nipples before splaying down the rest of his body past his abs and into the recesses of his groin.  And those fucking eyebrows!  He knew Derek was a man, heavy and foreboding and he wanted nothing more than to be all up under that.

Stiles scoots to the edge of the bed and runs his hands up and down Derek’s chest.  He runs his nails over Derek’s hips and up his thighs.  He drags his thumbs over his Apollo’s belt and scratches his fingertips through his pubic hair.  He reaches up again to pinch a nipple and repeats the movements over and over again in random combinations.  He pins Derek with his eyes and bats his lashes.

“Tell me what you’re going to do to me.”  Derek’s eyes are blacked out leaving only a rim of forest green.  He leans impossibly close to Stiles who winds his arms around his neck.  

“Stiles?”  In his best Derek impression, Stiles’ cocks one eyebrow and Derek reaches up to smooth it with his thumb.  He leans closer, bringing their faces together.

“Stiles.”  Stiles looks at Derek briefly before closing his eyes and nosing Derek’s jaw, planting wet, smacking kisses across it and licking at the cum in his beard.  He takes Derek’s lip in his mouth and bites it hard.  Derek can feel it all the way to his cock which Stiles has started rubbing lube into at a deliberately slow speed.

“ _Stiiiiiiiiiiles_.” Stiles worries Derek’s lip in his mouth.

“Hmm?”  

“I’m going to fuck you.”  Stiles gasps, releasing Derek’s lip and Derek grabs Stiles around the waist, wrapping his legs around him before landing them both on the bed.  He kisses him hard and reaches down to line himself up with Stiles’ entrance.  He opens his eyes and sees his lover’s trained on him as well.  They both smile and brace themselves as Derek pushes into the welcoming rim.  

Stiles lets out a soft moan as the slightly mushroomed tip slips just inside.  He whimpers as Derek ever so slowly feeds centimeter by centimeter of his burning flesh into Stiles starving anus.  They keep eye contact though they can barely see and it’s only broken when Derek’s girth slides against Stiles’ prostate causing his eyes to roll into the back of his head.  He gurgles and goes lax as he lets his pleasure crest over him like a breaking wave.  He’s drowning in the feeling as Derek laves his neck, his chest, his nipples, any part of him that he can reach with his mouth as he pistons his hips carefully in and out of Stiles’ frame.

Stiles can’t stop moaning and he doesn’t want to when Derek can’t stop fucking the shit out of him.  When he can’t stop rubbing his beard all over Stiles’ neck and chest, when he can’t stop biting the shit out of Stiles’ nipples and then tonguing the bruise he made earlier near his shoulder.  He can’t stop crying out in ecstasy when Derek simply won’t stop pressing his entire weight into Stiles, knocking the breath from his lungs, holding him in place while he has his way with his asshole.  He can’t stop keening when Derek’s hands are grabbing mounds of his flesh and scraping scratches down his back and around his sides.  And he can’t be expected not to call out his name over and over, begging to be fucked harder and more when Derek insists on sucking bruises in the most visible places he can and even sucking the fucking sweat out of his armpits.  Stiles can't stop and he won't.

"Fuck me, Derek!" He screams, his voice deep, jagged and raw.  "Oh god, I love you so fucking much! I love your fucking cock; love the feel of you inside of me, disrespecting the fuck out of my ass. Jesus I can feel you everywhere, my ass, my prostate, my dick, my fucking heart!" He chokes back sobs as Derek grunts.

"Fucking _fuck_ , Stiles, your damned fucking beautiful mouth. Gotta taste you." He sinks his teeth into his mark on Stiles shoulder as Stiles' whole body clenches, pouring out stream after stream of cum between them.  Derek plants his mouth on top of Stiles’, swallowing his guttural sounds as Stiles keeps coming. His body is clenching tight around Derek, massaging the orgasm from deep within his balls and pouring it inside his mate. They feel like death and rebirth over and over. Derek pours into Stiles as Stiles empties into Derek creating a cycle of pleasure that neither one wants to break.

Then Stiles passes out.

He doesn't dream, he just wakes up, the room is dark as the sun has passed behind them and the overhead lights are off. He would freak out, but he can't, there's a giant wolf on his side, licking tears and cum from his face.

He considers the creature, running a weary hand through the surprisingly soft fur. The gentle beast rolls on its back, exposing its belly as Stiles rubs it sweetly, placing his head on its warm center. He feels a paw bat playfully at his ear and suddenly a transformation occurs turning the Wolf back into Derek.

Stiles cups his face as they stare at each other, smiling, happy and sated though greedy for more.

"You're mine, Stiles. All mine, fucking finally. You're so good for me, so perfect for me. You make so happy. I just-"

"Say it!"

"I love you so fucking much! I'm so fucking in love with you!" Stiles jumps on top of Derek, straddling him and kissing him silly.

"I know, you fucking son of a bitch!" He kisses him again, just because he can.

"I know."

 

* * *

 

 

**Epilogue: _Go Now, Go_**

  

It’s a bright sunny day.  The birds are chirping and the sun is high and bright in the sky though not torturously hot.  It’s a nice day for a white wedding.  Or peach, as this bride chose.

“I have a full grown son and grandkids, there’s no way I’m wearing white at that alter.  I’m not the most religious woman, but I also don’t like to play against the odds thank you very much.”  Stiles and Scott listen to Melissa rant and rave while Lydia and Kira do her hair and makeup.  Lydia fixes a rogue curl.

“I was only joking Melissa!  You’re a modern, new aged woman finding your happiness in a strong supportive partner.  Hell, if you wanna walk down the aisle naked feel free!”

“NO!” Both Stiles and Scott shout as both close their eyes trying to will away the vision.  They open them again to disapproving glances from the women in the room.  

“I'll have both of you know that I work out!”  Scott puts both hands up in surrender and backs up towards the door.

“And that’s our cue, come on Stiles.”  Stiles shrugs and waves smiling at the women.  Kira follows them out and puts her arms around her husband.

“Let’s go check on the kids and then you can get in place to walk your mom down the aisle.”  Scott nods and then winks at Stiles as Kira leads him away.  Stiles goes into the main vestibule and is greeted by a gorgeous little girl with tan skin, soft brown curls and an upturned nose.  

“Daddy!”  She calls as she launches herself into his arms.

“Hi Maddie-bear!  Where’s your Papa?”  He looks around and smiles as his paramour approaches.

“Papa’s right here, and so is Benji-cub!”  A beautiful little boy with black hair and silver eyes laughs as his papa nuzzles him.  Derek leans in to kiss Stiles and they hold it for just a second more than what’s considered appropriate in front of the children.  Madison giggles.

“Everyone says I’m supposed to be grossed out when you give each other smooches, but I think it’s sweet.”  She then buries her face in Stiles’ shoulder, right over his claiming bite.  Stiles squeezes his little girl and passes her off to Papa so they can find their seats.  He may or may not pinch Papa’s ass on the way.  He goes to the front and takes in everything.  He sees his friends and family surrounding him.  Deaton, his druid mentor, taking a much needed day off to join in the festivities, and Parrish along with Derek’s other co-workers from the Sheriff’s station.  There’s Mr. Yukimura trying and failing to corral the McCall-Yukimura clan of 4 children and Mrs. Yukimura successfully silencing them with a single glance.

And then there’s his family.  Derek, gorgeous in a new 3 piece suit.  He’s got the jacket off and cloaked around Benji who wants to be just like his papa when he grows up.  There’s Benji, their miracle and Madison, their light.  She just turned 5 and everyday she never ceases to amaze them.  They wave at him as though he’s a million miles away and he waves back and blows them a kiss.  Madison purses her lips to catch it, but Benji has good reflexes in his 3 years (being a werewolf doesn’t hurt) and catches it, pushing it to his own lips instead.  Derek laughs and laughs and Stiles feels like his heart is going to explode.  

There’s something in the corner of his eyes.  Something in his blind spot.  He knows if he turns his head he’ll miss it, but if he focuses he can see it.  In the corner, a dejected figure sitting hunched and defeated in a chair.  A ring of something like mountain ash surrounds them.  Stiles tenses, but focuses a little more.  Kate.  She looks lost as though she’s been wandering these last 12 years and can’t find peace.  She stands up sluggishly and starts to walk towards him.  Suddenly the ring of mountain ash catches fire and she burns, screaming for relief from this cycle.  A hard hand grips his shoulder.  He turns and sees his new brother.

“Dude, you ready?  I know my mom and your dad think they’re getting married, but all it’s really doing is making us official, baby!”  Stiles laughs as Scott wags his eyebrows and bites his bottom lip playfully.

“I think you may have the whole stepbrothers thing confused Scottie-boy.”  Scott shakes his head.

“No man, I saw a search in your internet history and the results make me think I’m totally- _hey_!”  Scott rubs his arm where Stiles has punched it and stumbles when Stiles pushes him down the two stairs to go to the back of the church.

“True Alpha my _ass_ , McCall!”  Scott laughs and shrugs.

“McCall-Stilinski, it’s official bro.  Don’t worry, Derek will understand.”  Madison looks at the commotion confused.

“Understand what, Uncle Scott?”  Scott’s face lights up but Derek shoos him away before he can even start talking and distracts Maddie with coloring books.  Scott walks back to join his mother in the vestibule while Stiles’ dad comes up behind him.

“Hey kiddo.  I guess I can’t really call you that anymore now can I?  You’re a young man now with kiddos of your own.”

“Kiddos that you consistently spoil and make them impossible to take home, you know that, right?”  The Sheriff nods knowingly.

“Yup, hopefully someday you’ll get your chance.”  Stiles grins and claps a hand around his father’s shoulder.  

He looks at Derek and their perfect family living their perfect life.  There’s fear and sadness, sure, the Sheriff’s heart attack, Cora’s injury.  There was danger, Peter leading a team of psychotic supernaturals from the Eichen House definitely took its toll on their peace, but they got through it.  Derek didn’t run and Stiles didn’t push.  They worked and moved together, like an unstoppable duo, giving each other strength and life without the damper of past circumstances, or maybe even life despite it all.  Or best of all?  

 

Life _because_ of it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for going on this journey with me! I hope you enjoyed it, I know it was a real passion project and I would enjoy your kudos and comments (I like both, but your comments make me extra sappy).
> 
> Credits:
> 
> Thank you to the marvelous Jenny for being a constant cheerleader and letting me know that while I am completely nuts, it's the agreeable sort. To Dream-Tempo for just being such a great joy and giving me really good concrit, there's a little part in here just for you, I hope you caught it.
> 
> To aljamo for being my longsuffering beta and to Dan for leaving me awesome comments in my inbox.
> 
> Also, all of Stiles and Derek kids were had via mpreg. Deal with it.
> 
> Thank you so much!

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my [Tumblr](http://ficcindylan.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Like, what you see? Please leave comments! I love talking with you guys. :)


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